Healthy Testicle Mistakenly Removed From Cancer Patient

Salisbury, England – One unfortunate cancer patient recently had the wrong testicle removed by his “bungling” surgeons.

The Mirror UK reports that the man, who asked to remain unnamed, now fears that he will never father a child after his surgeons removed his one, healthy testicle during a cancer operation.

The wrong testicle was removed by accident, and it took doctors 40 minutes to realize their mistake. They quickly sewed the healthy testicle back on before they concluded the botched operation, but it’s unclear whether or not it’ll actually work.

The victim is now suing, saying: “They definitely took out the wrong testicle. It should have been the cancerous one. It seems I can no longer father children. I have gone through incredible stress and strain.”

The Salisbury NHS Foundation Trust acknowledged the mistake performed by their surgeons, and offered an apology.

“We can confirm this incident took place. The trust offers its sincere ­apologies. Remedial surgery took place at the time. The trust carried out a thorough investigation and immediately made changes to its processes.”

But Salisbury’s deepest condolences won’t necessarily bring the cancer patient’s healthy testicle back, nor will it improve his chances of fathering a child in the victim’s eyes. They did not address the pending lawsuit in their statement.

MSN deadpanned: “Is there a Hallmark card that says, ‘We’re really sorry that we surgically removed the wrong testicle?’ Because the medical staff at one hospital in Salisbury, England, should probably all sign it.”

Indeed. Talk about an almost-literal kick to the stones.