A “circle of power” has just been formed in Russia to protect Vladimir Putin and his country from their enemies both at home and abroad.
If that sounds a little bit weird, it’s because it is. Let’s journey a little further down this particular rabbit hole shall we? The Express reports that the power circle in question was actually created by a coven of witches who have got together with the sole intention of casting magical spells which will protect and improve Russia.
In a special ceremony attended by the broomstick brigade, the lead witch, Alyona Polyn, rang a big bell and recited spells, incantations, and curses, while her fellow witches surrounded her in a magical circle holding spell books and chanting, “we have gathered here to make the world better off through Russia.”
It then goes on for a bit, about 20 minutes to be precise, but the gist of it appears to be that the ladies of the occult respect their president, and that the “primordial power” which Putin “serves” as a “person of power” must “aid the authorities and aid the nation” and “return to the abyss those who hate upon Russia.”
It’s strong stuff but cut out all the mumbo jumbo and fancy expressions, and it’s just another way of saying, “haters! You gonna get yours.”
The ladies also chant, “may Russia rise and step away from grief and poverty and may the coming days open the gates of happiness for Russia, all hail.”
They also bang on a little about “the great power of Russia” rising and how their magic powers will help Putin “forever eternally and endlessly” cast his enemies into damnation.
In support of the Russian president, the mistresses of the coven all chant “hail,” and the whole thing sort of fizzles out not so much with a bang but a whimper.
Queen witch Aloyna Polyn stressed to reporters that this gathering was not a political rally but a meeting of like-minded souls who wished to create a circle of power.
“I associate a rally as people walking with signs and chanting some with little result. This is concrete action, a magical act aimed at improving quality of Russia, on planet earth and of course, to help the president as he is the face of Russia to the world.”
In response to this blatant piece of Russian witchcraft, some sources speculate that U.S. President Donald Trump might retaliate by composing a well-worded tweet.