‘Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club’ Is A ‘Total Train Wreck,’ According To ‘Daily Beast’

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Former Disney child star Lindsay Lohan has launched her comeback after years of being entertainment industry kryptonite, but while her new MTV show, Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club, ticks all the boxes of hot, thirsty, and tan people in paradise willing to do almost anything for the attention of the camera, it falls short in some key components.

The Daily Beast shares that despite the window dressing, the new MTV series styled to be Vanderpump Rules in Greece is “unwatchable.”

But in that Vanderpump Rules being the inspiration, Lindsay Lohan is to Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club what Lisa Vanderpump is to Vanderpump Rules, meaning that despite the title, the show is not about the life of the titular person, and includes only “little crumbs” of that person’s life which tends to be scripted, or at least sounds that way.

However, without the glimpse into the life of the former A-Lister, the show is left with random VIP hosts and a show focused on an unknown bartender, which nearly leaves the show without a premise. And a sprinkle of Lindsay Lohan lecturing other potential hot messes on professionalism doesn’t pack the same punch as a stern talking to from Lisa Vanderpump.

The drama balance is also an issue because Lohan acts as if the success of her beach club depends on people not messing up, but truly, the future of the show is based on people totally messing up. The tears in the first episode come when Lohan is concerned about her “reputation,” but for better or worse, that’s why people are tuning in, to see the Americans brought in from Los Angeles and Las Vegas potentially but (hopefully) metaphorically burn the house down.

Lindsay Lohan’s turn, for the show at least, into Miss Manners is also puzzling considering some of her outfits over the years. When Lohan turns up at the VIP house unannounced, she is pearl-clutching about finding a hostess swimming in the pool without her shirt.

“When you meet your boss, don’t show up in a bra.”

In a voiceover, she explains how inappropriate that is.

“It’s like me going to meet Steven Spielberg in a bra.”

CNN agrees that Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club is not worth visiting as it seems to be some sort of reality game show with no game, meaning that nobody is actually voted off the island, or out of the beach club, but it has that Bachelorette vibe where someone asks if people are “there for the right reason.”