Monica Lewinsky Says She Considered Suicide After Bill Clinton Called Her For Final Hookup Then Abandoned Her

Matt WinkelmeyerGetty Images

Monica Lewinsky is shedding new light on the very messy end to her relationship with Bill Clinton, one that cast her into the intense media spotlight and led her to thoughts of suicide.

The former White House intern and mistress of the president has opened up for the A&E docuseries The Clinton Affair. In the most recent episode, Lewinsky explained that as the Paula Jones investigation was closing in on Bill Clinton and starting to ask questions about the alleged affair, he advised her to deny the relationship. As the Daily Mail reported, Clinton still managed to call her in for one final tryst at Christmas time before he cut off all contact.

Lewinsky revealed that Bill Clinton called her at 2:30 a.m. one night to tell her that her name had appeared on the witness list for the Paula Jones investigation. Clinton assured Monica that she could sign an affidavit to avoid testifying, but that she would need to deny their ongoing affair.

“Now, listen you’re gonna have to lie here,” Lewinsky recalled Clinton telling her.

Amid the risk that Bill Clinton would be impeached, he reportedly asked Monica to join him in the Oval Office, the first time that Monica met the family’s dog, Buddy. Lewinsky recalled that the two kissed and Bill gave her a series of Christmas presents.

After that, Monica said, she was on her own. When members of Clinton’s staff learned about the affair, she was transferred from the White House to the Pentagon, and the affair with the president came to an end. At that point, they had been seeing each other every day and hooking up once a week, and Lewinsky said the sudden separation was hard on her.

Clinton had told her that he would try to get her back into the White House after his re-election campaign, but that never came. Monica Lewinsky said she was crushed, and even had thoughts of suicide.

The A&E series has shed new light on one of the most widely covered affairs of the last several decades, including never-before-seen pictures of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky together. As People noted, that included a shot of Bill and Monica holding hands at a White House party. The series also has interviews with Monica’s parents, including her mother who was reportedly threatened with prison by the FBI for lying about the affair, a ploy that led Monica to cooperate with investigators.