Mel B Admits To Drug Use & Suicide Attempt While Filming ‘X Factor’ In 2014

'I was a sad, pathetic person.'

Mel B at the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards
Tinseltown / Shutterstock

'I was a sad, pathetic person.'

In her upcoming memoir Brutally Honest,America’s Got Talent judge Melanie “Mel B” Brown opened up about how she lost nearly all of the fortune she’d made as a member of the Spice Girls in her divorce with Stephen Belafonte, as reported by the Inquisitr. The financial struggle she endured during her divorce, however, was far from the only thing she candidly discuses in her upcoming memoir.

According to The Sun, Mel B also opens up about her drug use and her attempted suicide while she was working as a judge during the production of The X Factor back in 2014.

In her memoir, the 43-year-old singer and actress admitted to snorting five or six lines of cocaine each day during the filming of The X Factor“to get her through living” with Belafonte. The Spice Girl also opened up about her suicide attempt during which she consumed 200 pain killers back in 2014.

Following her suicide attempt, she was replaced for Saturday’s live semi-final episode of X Factor. She returned the next night, however, wearing a dress that revealed several bruises. At the time, Brown claimed they were the result of a stomach ulcer.

“I was a sad, pathetic person. I was out of control. I was probably taking five or six lines a day before and after work. It numbed my pain. It lifted me up enough to be ready to fire on all cylinders and forget about everything but the show,” Mel shared as she owned up to snorting at least two lines just to start her day.

At the time, Brown believed the cocaine was how she survived filming The X Factor during this very low time in her life. She said, “I was so low that two weeks into filming The X Factor I’d started using cocaine to get me through the run of the show. To get me through living with Stephen, which felt like neurotic claustrophobia.”

Mel clarified that her drug use did not negatively affect her ability to judge performances on The X Factor, as she genuinely had a good time sitting beside her co-judges Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh, and Cheryl. According to Brown, she never actually used cocaine during the production of the show. It, however, took her “less than a minute” to get her hands on drugs once filming concluded.

Brown revealed her decision to take 200 pain killers she had stock piled after writing notes to her daughters. The singer ended up regretting her actions and made the conscious decision to get to a hospital so she could continue to live for her daughters.

Brutally Honest hits the shelves in about a week with a slated release date of November 27.