Lil Xan Opens Up About Addiction Struggles, Mac Miller, & Demi Lovato

Lil Xan aka Diego performs at Irving Plaza on September 26, 2018 in New York City.
Theo Wargo / Getty Images

Lil Xan gave an eye-opening interview with TMZ on Monday during which the young rapper, who has been making an effort to rebrand himself as “Diego,” spoke frankly about his current struggles with addiction, as well as the effect the death of Mac Miller, one of Xan’s musical heroes, had on him. Xan also lent support to Demi Lovato and spoke of his understanding of her fight through his own personal struggles.

The conversation began after Xan reached out to TMZ in the wake of the media company breaking the news of the toxicology report surrounding the death of Mac Miller. The revelation that it was a combination of cocaine and fentanyl that led to the Pittsburgh rapper’s death came as no surprise to Xan, who said that before he became a rapper, he would sell pills for a living. However, when he first started to see fentanyl on the streets, it was different from any other drug he had witnessed before.

Xan revealed that it was the arrival of fentanyl and its skyrocketing popularity that pushed him away from the drugs and into the music, saying, “My friends were taking it, they were puking. I was like I can’t… I’m out the game.”

The 22-year-old rapper revealed that the deaths of Miller, as well as the rapper Lil Peep, had a major effect on him and led him cutting down on his drug usage, even though the rapper said that he was still not completely sober. He compared his struggle to gain sobriety to Demi Lovato’s similar fight, where long periods of staying clean are interrupted by a relapse, describing his own situation by saying, “I relapsed, and that’s common. Any other addict would understand that s*** just happens.”

Xan also cleared up the news about his recently canceled string of tour dates, with his management team previously explaining that it was due to “exhaustion.” Xan revealed that while exhaustion did play a part in the decision, it was exhaustion caused by his latest struggle to finally kick the drug usage for good.

While Xan told TMZ that he was not in rehab, he did reveal that he had isolated himself in an undisclosed location in a forest in an effort to get some space to clear his mind and properly recover. While he was unable to give an exact time for his return, Xan was hoping that his personal issues will be resolved by the time the Mac Miller tribute album Be Safe is released.