Olivia Newton-John Details Private Pain Over Lover In New Memoir, Per ‘Radar’

olivia newton john book
Scott Barbour / Getty Images

Beloved singer Olivia Newton-John has detailed her desperate search for her lover in a new memoir, per Radar Online, where she reveals her grief and disbelief over his disappearance.

Newton-John detailed the mysterious disappearance of ex-boyfriend Patrick McDermott in 2005 and how “incredibly worried” she was for his safety, enough to hire her own investigators to track him down.

Radar reported that at the time, the United States Coast Guard concluded that McDermott had “most likely” drowned on a fishing trip off the coast of California in June 2005. Despite their report, Newton-John noted in the memoir, she called security expert Gavin de Becker for help in finding more concrete answers as to McDermott’s disappearance.

“We decided to send a couple of his private investigators to Mexico to certain places Patrick had talked about,” Newton-John penned in the new tome, Don’t Stop Believin’.

“I asked Gavin if I should get on TV and do a public plea, but he advised against it,” she shared of her private pain.

Radar reported that investigators placed missing person posters all over Mexico, but Newton-John soon came to realize that McDermott had disappeared without a trace. She also wrote that she believed McDermott could have fled to his native Korea.

Radar reported that a tabloid had allegedly located McDermott in 2016, 11 years after he disappeared, working on luxury yachts in Mexico. The tabloid claimed he fled the country due to financial difficulties, although that has never been proven.

Newton-John never stopped believing her former lover was still alive, despite reports to the contrary, noting in her memoir, “the truth is, I’ll never really know what happened.”

Since his disappearance, Newton-John also revealed she has grown close with McDermott’s ex-wife Yvette and his son Chance.

olivia newton john
  Alberto E. Rodriguez / Getty Images

“I lived in pain for so long over this, but I had to teach myself to live in the now, which is an important life lesson.”

Newton-John has been battling cancer since learning she had stage 4 breast cancer in May 2017. The singer was originally diagnosed with the disease in 1992 when she found a lump in her right breast. The Australian entertainer then underwent a radical mastectomy, followed by a breast reconstruction.

Miraculously, she bounced back with a clean bill of health, until her 2017 diagnosis.

Radar Online reported on August 22 that the disease has spread to the bones of her lower back. The disease has reportedly metastasized, reported Radar, and the beloved singer is allegedly turning to herbal remedies in order to fight the further spread of the disease.