Kristin Cavallari Opens Up About Her Time On ‘Laguna Beach’ And ‘The Hills’: ‘I Was A Mess’

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Kristin Cavallari is all grown up, but she will always be remembered as one of the former stars of MTV’s Laguna Beach and The Hills. It’s been eight years since The Hills ended and during this time, Cavallari married former NFL player Jay Cutler and became a mother of three. With her new reality series, Very Cavallari, due to premiere this month, Cavallari, 31, recently sat down with People to talk about the show and also dished on her time on her former reality shows.

“In my early 20s I was a mess, and I was just trying to figure it all out,” Cavallari admitted. “But now being married and being a mom, I know where I’m supposed to be. And it’s a great feeling,” she continued.

Cavallari spent her late teenage years and part of her 20s in front of the camera and while many people loved her feisty persona on Laguna Beach, the series took a huge toll over the reality TV star to the point where she wasn’t looking to make a reality TV comeback ever again. Fans will remember that Cavallari was quickly pitted against former co-star Lauren Conrad when the producers of the show built a love-triangle between the girls and Cavallari’s boyfriend at the time, Stephen Colletti. Her portrayal on the show due to that left her feeling “devastated.”

“I didn’t know what I was getting into. I was just going about my life and doing what producers were asking me to do. When I saw the first season, I was devastated about how I was portrayed. I came across as terribly b**chy. And I also felt as though my real-life boyfriend [Stephen Colletti] was being put in situations he normally wouldn’t have been in. They were making it seem like there was this love triangle.”

After being on the show for two seasons, Cavallari opted to steer clear of reality TV for good. However, when Conrad decided to leave her MTV show, The Hills, in 2009, producers immediately sought her out to take Conrad’s place and the mother of three admits she was given “an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

Her time on The Hills was much better as Cavallari felt she was more in control of what was happening around her.

“I looked at The Hills like a job. I had my life on the show, and the lines weren’t blurred. So it was really fun for me. I took control and I had a good experience doing it.”

Her role on her new series, Very Cavallari, will be very different this time as she is credited as an executive producer. “I’m working with people who really value my creative direction and think that I bring something to the table,” she said. “I’m more confident than I’ve ever been before,” she gushed.

While her husband, former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler, will make an appearance on the series—their children, Camden, 5, Jaxon, 4, and Saylor, 2, will not.

“I wanted to get back in to reality, but not have the focus be too heavy on me and my family,” she said. “So this was the perfect way to do it,” she concluded.

The main focus of the show will be about her brand, Uncommon James. Aside from being on reality TV, Cavallari also published a cookbook, True Roots.

Very Cavallari will debut on July 8 at 10 p.m. on E!.