Luis D. Ortiz, who starred in four seasons of Million Dollar Listing New York, took to social media to disclose his current battle with depression, which has led to thoughts of committing suicide.
In July, 2016, after four seasons, Ortiz revealed he was stepping away from the hit Bravo reality series because he was no longer “happy” working in the cut-throat real estate industry.
“It was tough because, first of all, I didn’t know that that was what I needed to do,” he told Bravo’s Daily Dish two years ago. “I always ignored that that could be a possibility because I’m at the peak of my game and doing better today than I’ve ever done in my career.”
At the time, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do next professionally, but the Puerto Rican did say he originally came to New York City from Florida to find work as a film director, admitting he “always wanted to be behind the cameras.”
However, despite many Instagram photos where he is smiling in gorgeous locations around the world, like Tokyo, Paris, Australia, Bali, and Jamaica, the handsome and buff 31-year-old still has not found what he was looking for.
Now, in a typed letter spanning six images posted on Instagram on Saturday, June 23, Ortiz has bared his soul. He captioned the post, “#thisismytruth.”
“I have been wanting to share this for some time now but have been very reluctant to do so for the very same reasons most of us choose to keep our truths in the dark,” Ortiz began the very personal confession. “However, ever since Kate [Spade] and [Anthony] Bourdain committed suicide, I have been feeling the strong need and responsibility of sharing my truth with the hopes of a positive change.
“For the past year, I have been struggling with depression, and during the last three months all I can think of — day and night — is putting an end to it all. What makes sense intellectually doesn’t seem to internalize, which makes understanding how selfish this would be for the people that love me almost impossible to see. In fact, I argue that it is selfish of them to let me live in a place I have convinced myself I no longer want to be a part of. It’s a very stupid, ignorant, and blind argument but once you have broken yourself down to the extent of no longer believing in any of your abilities, and the value you bring to yourself, the people closest to you, and the world you live in, it’s extremely difficult to see it that way.”
Ortiz said that he has “the genuine love and care of a few good friends and family,” and he is “still here” even though “the desire of slowly eradicating this current bulls***” is still present.
“My point: this s*** is real and its happening to so many people,” he further stated. “We constantly feel the need of showing that everything is ok when it really isn’t and that needs to stop…. I’m not sure who and when was it established that sharing and reaching out when we are not feeling ourselves is not a cool thing to do when it is part of who we are. It’s like having a headache, which we are not ashamed of letting everyone know about. Our internal battles make us stronger, yes. But we need to win them first. And sometimes, most times, we can’t win them on our own.”
He went on to tell his 544,000 followers to be proud of their own truths and to not fear it.
“And for those of you with friends or close ones who you see are not being themselves, do not abandon them,” he said. “Remind them of who they are. Remind them that you’re there for them. Remind them that you love them. They don’t need to be at their lowest to be positively affected by it.”
To finish the lengthy letter, he said, “Let’s make it cool and sexy to create forward while sharing our truth along the way. Let’s learn to love everyone’s unique truth and, perhaps, that will elevate our levels of compassion and empathy, which will better us as people and our world. We are all amazing. Don’t forget that! With love, Luis.” A red heart emoji was placed at the very end.
Ortiz, who now lives in Los Angeles, is said to still be in touch with his Million Dollar Listing New York co-stars, Fredrik Eklund and Ryan Serhant.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. For readers outside the U.S., visit Suicide.org or Befrienders Worldwide for international resources you can use to find help.