Singer/songwriter Paloma Faith declared that motherhood is hell, even though she also loves her child.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love my child, but it’s hell,” the 36-year-old mother said, according to an INews report.
The former BBC The Voice judge described the depths of despair she found herself in as a new mom to her baby, whom she once said she planned to raise gender neutral. Her child, born after a difficult birth, which led to an emergency C-section, completely changed her world.
“It doesn’t matter how much help you’ve got, no one can explain how lonely it feels at night when you’re waking up breastfeeding and you spend hours just wired on your own and you lose the will to live in a way, because your hormones are going mad and your husband is usually asleep snoring next to you. There’s so much resentment.”
Adding to her upheaval, the 2016 public firestorm that arose out of her announcement that she and her partner, Leyman Lahcine, planned to raise the child gender neutral certainly complicated her already tumultuous life. When she made her speech at the Q Awards, she also said she hoped to have two or three children, who would be raised gender neutral.
Faith, whose full name is Paloma Faith Blomfield, recently explained that her words were misconstrued at the time, according to a report from the Mirror. She meant that they didn’t plan to purchase the typical pink and blue items or the traditional boy and girl toys for their children. She said her family raised her the same way, and that although her family referred to her as a “girl,” she had a choice of toys to play with and clothes to wear. She and her partner plan to allow her children the same options.
The singer said that she received lots of thanks from gender-neutral people since she made her statement, which Faith admits she worded incorrectly, and that makes her feel bad.
“I feel guilty as well because I’ve had people say they were grateful that I was using my position to draw awareness to what they were going through. I felt a bit bad,” she said.
Paloma Faith’s next endeavor is the tour for her fourth album, The Architect, which went straight to number one on the charts — a first for her nearly decade-long career.
One reason she’s finally able to tour is that her partner, Lacine, took 12 months off work to stay with their child for an entire year. Faith admitted that she finds that fact incredibly sexy.
Ultimately, Faith hopes sharing her life helps her fans feel it’s okay to be who they are. Her uncensored comments about motherhood resonate with many new mothers going through the depths of both despair and undeniable love all at the same time.