As the world reacts with bewilderment and confusion to the news Friday that Anthony Bourdain died after committing suicide, Westworld star Evan Rachel Wood, 30, opened up in consecutive Twitter posts about her own suicide attempt. The former child star provided an inside look at the pain and the eventual recovery that she experienced following her attempt. She also expressed the same loss over his death that many in the entertainment world, along with the world at large, are feeling.
“After my suicide attempt I was so weak I couldnt walk. I had nodes on my vocal chords and couldnt sing. I couldnt even write my name without my hand trembling. It was like starting from ground zero. But everyday, I held onto the railing of the hospital and walked starting with just a few steps, before I was out of breath or in too much pain. But everyday I would walk more. Little by little my strength returned. I told myself, by the end I would climb the stairs. The day I finally made it up, I sat down & wept. Tears of redemption & hope. I was stronger than I thought,” she shared.
“If I just worked on it, little by little. If I was gentle and forgiving with myself. If I chipped away instead of trying to tackle the mountain I could do it. So dont be hard on yourselves. Just walk, a little bit more, everyday.” Wood has been through a lot in her young life, having started acting at a very young age. She is a survivor of rape twice over and on Feb. 27, she testified about her experiences to urge Congress to implement the Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights Act in all 50 states instead of just on a federal level, as reported by Mashable.
During that testimony, she discussed how she was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, and how it led her to self-harm to the point of attempting suicide twice. “This was, however, a turning point in my life when I started seeking professional help to deal with my trauma and mental stress.”
On Twitter Friday, Woods spoke of having watched Bourdain’s shows during her recovery process and depression and how he had inspired her to get out into the world and connect with people and have adventures. He made her want to live, so his death had a particularly profound effect on her. Hopefully, her words of recovery will have a profound effect on others who hear her message.