Death Star Petition Rejection: Galactic Empire Criticizes Obama Administration


The Obama administration crushed the hopes of Star Wars fanboys the world over when it rejected the White House petition to build a Death Star as a matter of national defense. But fans have at least one advocate who has responded to the White House’s rejection: The Galactic Empire itself.

In a pointed letter to the Obama administration, the Galactic Empire mocked the president for choosing not to pursue construction of a Death Star, reports MSN. On Friday, the Obama administration said that it would not build a Death Star, citing cost and a moral problem with the destruction of other planets.

Tuesday, the Empire posted a statement to StarWars.com citing its “overwhelming military superiority,” and countering the administration’s claim that Death Star construction would only increase the deficit.

Here is the full statement:

“IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT — The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. ‘It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire,’ said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine.

” ‘Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production,’ added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.

“Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth’s exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. ‘Any attacks made upon such a station — should one ever be built — would be a useless gesture,’ added Motti.”

What do you think of the Galactic Empire’s response to the Obama administration’s rejection of the Death Star petition?

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