Are you disgusted by all the couples who post smarmy, insincere messages about their relationship on social media? So are we. And, frankly, so are the experts, whose latest research suggests that posting about your relationship on social media doesn’t prove how “in love” you are with your partner — it proves that you and/or your partner are immature and insecure and that your relationship is on shaky ground, at best.
Posting Your Relationship On Social Media Is A Sign That You And Your Partner Are Immature
If you’re over the age of 25 and still posting pictures of your relationship on social media, you’re immature, says licensed therapist Dana Czachorowski, MA, LAC, who shared findings of her research with Bustle.
Czachorowski notes that people who feel the need to post their relationship on social media often have ulterior motives — in other words, they’re desperate to prove they’re in love, and in so doing, actually succeed in proving the opposite.
In addition, Czachorowski notes that not only are these social media declarations a sign that you and your partner are immature, it’s a sign that the relationship is dysfunctional. People in normal, healthy relationships don’t feel the need to “prove” it on social media — the facts are self-evident.
Gauging The Success Of A Relationship On Social Media Is A Sign That You’re Insecure
The Daily Beast is reporting that there’s an insidious trend emerging: the need for potential love interests to interact with your postings on social media. What’s more, today’s millennial and Gen Z-er has grown increasingly insecure in their interpersonal relationships, to the point that if their potential love interest — or current love interest — isn’t consuming their content, nonstop, on social media, it’s a sign that they don’t “love” them.
The outlet interviewed one such millennial, who was so insecure in her relationship that she gauged its success completely by the barometer of whether her boyfriend interacted with her online content.
“I treat my Instagram as an extension of my personality,” she said, “and it’s filled with things that are important to me. If he doesn’t engage with something I’ve posted, it makes me feel like he doesn’t like me.”
— TrendUso (@TrendUso) January 12, 2018
If You’re Posting An Old Photo Of You And Your Current Flame Just To Post About Your Relationship On Social Media, You’re On Shaky Ground
Writing for Texas State University, Hannah Schmanske pointed out that many 25-to-28-year-olds have very unrealistic expectations of relationships — so much so that they can ignore even the most obvious signs that their relationship is on shaky ground. If the best “your man” can do is post an old photo on social media, “he’s just not that into you.”
“45 percent of internet users ages 18-29 in serious relationships say the internet has had an impact on their relationship, according to Pew Research Center. No real relationship consists only of the good times, and Millennials are losing sight of this. It has become common to idolize these couples as “relationship goals,” she writes.
“The value of a relationship lies in the other person, not the aesthetic of the couple. A healthy relationship is not created by constantly posting your love for one another. Love is not based on followers or likes. Not everything seen on a screen is reality.”
— I Call It Mini Meme (@Dougie_Powerz) January 5, 2018
So the next time you see a “couple” posting about their relationship on social media, take comfort in knowing that it, like most everything else on the internet, isn’t real.