One of the more consisently funny Twitter accounts is @shitmydadsays, a young man’s collection of the random, hilarious things his cynical, elderly father says.
The @shitmydadsays Twitter account, populated by 29-year-old Justin Halpern, went viral in late August and currently has upwards of 700K followers. Halpern hit the social media lottery this week, with the feed being optioned by CBS to become a sitcom produced by David Kohan and Max Mutchnick of Will & Grace fame. TV isn’t the only opportunity opening up for Halpern- Harper Collins signed a book deal with Justin last month based on the feed as well.
While a sanitized network TV adaptation of the elder Halpern’s no holds barred style of speaking will almost certainly suck, it’s definitely an interesting development for internet humor and popular Twitter feeds. If you’re one of the few who hasn’t read Justin’s dad’s tweets, here’s a sample:
“Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn’t invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that.”
“I hate paying bills… Son, don’t say “me too.” I didn’t say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of “go away.”
“Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it.”
“You worry too much. Eat some bacon… What? No, I got no idea if it’ll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.”
“I need to change clothes? Wow. That’s big talk coming from someone who looks like they robbed a Mervyn’s.”
“You sure do like to tailgate people… Right, because it’s real important you show up to the nothing you have to do on time.”
“Just pay the parking ticket. Don’t be so outraged. You’re not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked.”
“That woman was sexy…Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won’t screw you, don’t do it for them.”
“Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don’t waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down.”
“I wanted to see Detroit win. I’ve been there. It’s like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news.”
“We didn’t have a prom. Dancing wasn’t allowed…What’s Footloose?…That’s the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of shit.”