Tori Spelling says the birth of her infant son serves as a “symbol” of her rebuilt relationship with troubled husband Dean McDermott.
Beau Dean is now just 9-months old, but Spelling says he’s already the glue that helps hold the family together.
“I feel like Beau is really the pillar of the rebirth of our relationship because our relationship had to crumble for it to be rebuilt and it was really important that we just start it over,” Spelling told PEOPLE at the 7th annual Santa’s Secret Workshop event in Los Angeles on Saturday.
The former Beverly Hill 90210 star and daughter of famed producer Aaron Spelling later added, “I think Beau is a symbol of that because he’s the first baby out of all five that we’re raising in a communicative way.”
To say that the two have had a few bumps along the way would be an understatement. The two of previously starred in several reality show series chronicling all their struggles, including McDermott’s episodes of cheating on his wife.
“I look back and I remember doing interviews probably seven years ago … I was like, ‘It’s easy, we don’t have to work at it,” Spelling said.
“Eleven years later, I’m like, ‘it’s a lot of work.’ It takes work and I took that for granted — I think we both did. We thought, ‘Oh, our relationship just works,’ and the truth is, no relationship just works.”
Spelling said the one positive in the face of all the chaos has been that she’s learned to herself again.
“I really feel like I found my voice in the relationship,” she said.
“It was really empowering for me because my whole life I grew up and I never talked about my feelings … so I carried that into my relationship. Now I talk too much about my feelings, but it’s so much better to talk about stuff.”
Spelling said she and Dean are now busy helping their youngest son with sleep training.
“He has sleep regression, where he was sleeping through the night and now he’s not,” she said. “He’s up like three times a night. We’re both so sleep deprived, he sleeps in the middle of us and Dean’s like, ‘Oh my gosh, I think we would not have had this many kids if they had all slept in the bed.'”