In what might possibly be the worst Tinder date of all time, a woman had a poop incident that snowballed into her being stuck upside down and having to be rescued by emergency personnel, BBC News is reporting.
Now, at this point it bears noting that the story The Inquisitr is about to tell you may very well be a hoax. After all, the source for this story is a crowdfunding page that may very well be a giant scam designed to get laughs or bamboozle suckers out of money. But, there are pictures, so if it’s a hoax, it’s a particularly well-crafted one.
Anyway, Bristol, England college student Liam Smith (or Smyth, depending on different sources) said his Tinder date was going well with a woman who, for obvious reasons, prefers not to be identified.
“We’d had a really nice evening. We’d had a meal at a well-known chicken restaurant, had a few beers and then gone back to mine for a bottle of wine and a film.”
Back at Liam’s house, however, things took a turn for the worse.
There, the woman felt the call of nature — something that happens to everybody at some point or another. Unfortunately for her — and we will try to be as delicate as possible — nature’s call wouldn’t quite go to voicemail, no matter how many times she tried.
Not knowing what else to do, the woman somehow scooped the offending matter out of the toilet and attempted to throw it out the window and into the garden below.
But that’s not where it landed.
Instead, it fell into a gap between two windows.
It was at this point that the woman owned up to what had happened. As Liam explains it, she came to him with a “panicked look in her eyes” and explained what had happened. Liam, grabbed a hammer, though it’s not clear if this was done in an effort to either spare his date further embarrassment, or not leave a fresh, open poo out where it would cause smell issues for his neighbors.
“It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.”
If you think this story couldn’t possibly get any worse for the woman, you’re about to be sorely disappointed.
For reasons that aren’t clear, the woman decided instead to remove the offending fecal matter herself. She dove into the gap between the two windows, and then wound up stuck, hanging upside down, her quarry just out of reach.
— Rozina Breen (@RozieBreen) September 5, 2017
Liam had no choice but to call the Fire Department (or Fire Brigade, as it’s called over there).
“Once they had composed themselves, they set to work removing her from the window.”
At this point in the story, everyone is safe and happy. The woman has been safely extricated from the situation, both figuratively and literally, and the poop has presumably been relocated.
However, there are two matters left to be resolved. The first is the problem of the broken window, the second is the status of their relationship moving forward.
As for the broken window, Liam has set up a crowdfunding page, telling the hilarious story and hoping for donations to come up with £300 (about $392) to fix the window. As of this writing, Liam’s GoFundMe has raised £2,152 ($2,811.59). He and the woman have agreed to split the extra money between two of their charities — one that helps firefighters, and one that helps build flushing toilets in developing countries.
Which raises the question of their future relationship: right now, Liam is being evasive about whether or not they have a future. Surprisingly, they had a second date, and he seems to be pleased with how it’s going. But he’s not making any commitments just yet.
“It’s too early to say if she’s the one. But we got on very very well and she’s a lovely girl.”
If they ever do wind up making a “go” of it, they’ll have a great story to tell about how they met.
[Featured Image by RyanKing999/Shutterstock]