Troian Bellisario Dishes On The Life-Threatening Mental Illness That Inspired ‘Feed’

Troian Bellisario is moving on with her newest project, since closing out her time as Spencer Hastings on Pretty Little Liars, and it’s a film that explores a topic that hits very close to home. Writing an essay for Lenny Letter, Ms. Bellisario shares more about her own struggles with mental illness and eating disorders, which are themes that fuel the emotionally charged Feed.

Feed Gave Troian Bellisario An Opportunity To Confront Her Demons

As the writer and star of Feed, Entertainment Weekly reveals that Troian delivers a drama that’s so wrought with emotion that it may be difficult to watch at times. There’s a reason for that high level of passion. Ms. Bellisario lived through similar situations and, in fact, the themes present in Feed are based upon her own experiences.

While this may come as a surprise to fans of the former Pretty Little Liars star, Troian went through a struggle in her early life that involved mental illness and self-harm in the form of the most widespread eating disorders in western culture. Bellisario shares that she suffered from anorexia and had limited herself to a 300-calorie a day diet.

The Feed writer says she even reached a lower point when she was convinced she had to lower her calorie intake even more, but now she recognizes that it was just another aspect of her mental illness.

“That part of my brain is my disease, and there was a time when it had absolute authority over me,” wrote Ms. Bellisario.

“It almost killed me, and you can see that even though I have lived in recovery for ten years now, it still finds loads of fun, insidious ways to thwart me to this day.”

Troian Bellisario Recognizes That She’ll Never Really Be Cured

As People shares, the themes found in Feed will always be present in Troian’s life. Much like any mental illness, anorexia isn’t something that goes away or can be cured. In writing about her experiences, Ms. Bellisario recognizes that Feed brought old threats to the surface, but she’s equally quick to admit that the underlying illness is always present.

Troian says she has become adept at ignoring her illness, pretending it’s not there. While some days are better than others, she knows that her anorexia can become a problem again, if she allows it.

“That’s partially why I wrote Feed. I wanted to channel that voice into a story and out of myself,” shared Ms. Bellisario.

“I wanted to create a character who also wondered how she could be enough.”

In the end, Troian found that creating and producing Feed helped her to deal more fully with her own real illness by allowing her to confront the issues that could contribute to a relapse. Now, the actress and writer acknowledges that she will spend the rest of her life in recovery.

Confronting her own issues wasn’t Troian Bellisario’s only reason for making Feed. It’s her hope that the drama will speak to others suffering from mental illness and eating disorders, showing them that their experiences are common. Troian wants audiences to recognize that there is help and hope.

Feed, starring Troian Bellisario, Tom Felton, and Ben Winchell, is available for streaming on VOD via all digital platforms.

[Featured Image by Indy Entertainment]