Caitlyn Jenner recently revealed in an interview with Diane Sawyer that she initially planned to come out as transgender after she died. Her reasons for the choice were both a bit inspiring and deeply sad.
Ever since Caitlyn Jenner came out as transgender in an interview two years ago, she has been an inspirational figure to people everywhere dealing with personal issues they are nervous to bring into the limelight for fear of being judged. Jenner showed those people that being true to yourself is a number one priority, and the fact she is leading a happy and empowered life after coming out teaches others that facing these kinds of issues paves the way for future happiness.
Caitlyn Jenner was not always so confident about the message she now preaches, though. In fact, reports News.com.au, Jenner was for a long time before her announcement leaning towards the idea she would not have the courage to tell the world about her gender identity until she lay in her coffin.Jenner told Sawyer that, before she came out as Caitlyn, she thought she might never actually get up the guts to join the transgender world during life. She continued that, even though she might not come out while alive, she would want to be buried in women's clothing.
"I thought that most of my life," Jenner said, meaning she thought she would never find the courage to reveal her true self.
"If I go, when I'm buried, I want to be dressed as her. That's the way I was going to heaven."One of the reasons for Caitlyn Jenner's initial hesitancy, reports EWN, is because she was concerned people might think Jenner was doing it just to grab the public spotlight for herself. Of course, Caitlyn knew such a perception would have made her a despised figure."I needed to make it clear that this was real, my life, and not some publicity stunt," Jenner wrote is her recently published memoir, Secrets of My Life.
"I couldn't afford to add fuel to the rumour that I was doing it for the money. I had just one chance."Caitlyn adds that the interview in which she came out was such a huge deal for her that she even needed to distance herself from her own children in preparation just to give herself some breathing room.
Considering her fear that her transition might be misconstrued as a plea for attention, Caitlyn Jenner's continued reasoning for wanting to come out after death, that she wanted to give a big surprise to those who viewed her body, is a bit unexpected.
"I'd shock everybody when they come and visit the casket," she said.
Jenner punctuated the statement with an amiable laugh, suggesting she was joking, but it is still an odd thing to say.
Of course, the fear people might see it as a headline grab was not the only reason Caitlyn Jenner was hesitant to come out. It is obviously a huge lifestyle change, and she was also afraid of ridicule from both the public and her own family.
Indeed, confirms Celebrity Insider, Caitlyn does not talk much anymore with the Kardashians, the family into which she married back when she was Bruce Jenner.
Jenner does, however, have relationships with her blood relatives. In some cases, those relationships are close. In other cases, not so much, but Jenner is not sure that has anything to do with her gender identity.
"Some I have remained very close to," she said. "A couple of them … I'm a little more distant."
"I have to admit; I'll sit here and wonder, 'Is it because of my transitioning? Or is because their life is so busy that they don't call, like, all the time?"It is unfortunate someone who went through and overcame what Caitlyn Jenner has, would worry about any of these questions. Judging by her words and actions as of late, though, she is much happier now as a woman despite what the unfortunate side effects may be.
Jenner has said herself, according to Mirror, that her old male body constantly inspired feelings of "loathing and disgust" to arise within her.
Congratulations to Caitlyn Jenner on conquering her fears and making way for her own happiness.
[Featured Image by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images]