It’s that time of year again, and the folks at Butterball are gearing up to answer questions about all things turkey. And while there might not be a dumb question, there sure are some pretty funny ones. Anyone who has cooked a turkey realizes that the first time can be a bit tricky, and maybe you’d rather ask your question to a total stranger than your mom.
For experts like Nigella Lawson, putting on a multicourse meal is no sweat, and she seems to revel in the holidays. However, she is well aware that cooks come to the holidays with all levels of experience, says the Inquisitr. For Nigella, cooking is an extension of who she is, and the holidays are her favorite time of the year. She believes that calorie-counting and denial limit your enjoyment, so put it on hold.
For every turkey success, there is a turkey failure, but the patient people at Butterball are ready to field questions of every kind, no matter how ridiculous or over-the-top. But over the years, the Butterball people have gathered a list of some of the more amusing questions.
“Can you help me settle a wager?”
If you really need to settle a big turkey bet, try the internet, or at least wait until after Thanksgiving to give Butterball a ring. Some of us are having true poultry problems.
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“Do I have to have bought a Butterball turkey to ask you a question?”
The answer is no. However the turkey ended up in your refrigerator, the Butterball answer people are happy to help you out. All Butterball turkeys have the pop-up cooking timer to make it a bit easier to cook your turkey the proper amount of time.
While people have wondered what the qualifications are to be a Butterball answer person, it’s obvious that patience and a sense of humor are critical. Butterball has kept track of some of the more priceless questions over the years, so if your question is especially out there, maybe you will make the list next year.
One woman called to ask if there is a trick to cooking a turkey that’s been in her father’s freezer since 1969 and if it will need extra thaw time. The answer: meat that is several decades old is not redeemable. Throw it out and buy a new one (hopefully they discovered this before the Thursday of Thanksgiving, as many stores run out of turkeys in popular weights).
Odd questions seem to be the specialty of the house. A woman wanted to roast her turkey so that it gets golden brown tan lines in the shape of a bikini (for real). Break out your aluminum foil, and outline your turkey with foil in the shape of a bikini before cooking. This will work for any shape you want.
But the two best questions came from male callers, who should be credited for stopping and asking directions.
“How do you carve a turkey when all of its bones have been broken?”
This gentleman was pretty proud of himself, until he realized that his method might make carving a bit tough. It seems that the large turkey didn’t fit into his largest pan, so after defrosting his turkey, he wrapped it in a towel, and jumped up and down on it until it fit the pan. Carve it carefully and warn your guests about bone shards. Better yet, get a smaller turkey or perhaps two small turkeys.
If you don’t have an electric knife or a sharpened carving set, a chainsaw is not a good option.
“I carved my turkey with a chainsaw… is the chain grease going to adversely affect my turkey?”
The folks at Butterball strongly suggest that you don’t use a chainsaw on anything you plan to eat.
“Instead, let your turkey rest at least 20 minutes after cooking to make carving easier. Then, use a carving knife you would find in your kitchen.”
Do you have a Thanksgiving cooking horror story?
[Featured Image by Matthew Mead/AP Images]