"Dear, the twins crazy glued their faces to Grandma!"
"And I think Grandma's dead!"
"Why are you even telling me this? It's a non-story."
I mean, really? Hundreds of thousands of new emails called "pertinent to the investigation" of your candidate's criminal case in a file her assistant reportedly labeled "Life Insurance," Watergate journalist Carl Bernstein and former FBI assistant director Ron Hosko both agree that there's no way Comey would stick his neck out like this unless there was strong suspicion of something truly massive, other enormous scandals are popping up so fast they're burying each other in the news, from the Observer's release of an audio recording wherein Clinton openly advocated election-rigging, to the notorious James O'Keefe's promise to deliver a ''tape of them demeaning and disparaging black people," and this is all just normal stuff, guys? Really?
But they keep at it, God bless their mechanical little hearts. Deny that anything significantly disastrous is happening to their candidate's campaign despite galaxies of evidence to the contrary and mix in a remark about what a pervy creep Trump is for good measure.
And of course, when in doubt, start shrieking about Russia.