Now That Hillary's Done, Let's Talk About Why Kaine Is Not A Valid Replacement

Caitlin Johnstone

Update: Two separate FBI sources have told Fox News that an indictment is likely. We need to be thunderously clear that Tim Kaine is absolutely not an option.

Stick a fork in Hillary and open the canned processed cranberry sauce, because that turkey is done. In response to FBI director James Comey announcing that new information pertinent to the criminal investigation of Clinton's email case has surfaced, Watergate journalist Carl Bernstein said it's "unthinkable" that Comey would take a drastic action with such severe implications unless it was "a real bombshell." Former assistant FBI director Ron Hosko agrees, telling Fox News that Comey's agents must have discovered emails that made them say, "Oh my God look what we have."

RNC chief strategist Sean Spicer appeared on CNN recently with a Form 109 that Clinton's longtime assistant (and wife of the source of the new leaks, pedophile and ex-Rep Anthony Weiner) Huma Abedin signed in 2013 swearing that she'd turned in all devices that contained confidential emails when she and her boss left the State department that year. Since this obviously did not happen, Abedin likely voided her immunity deal with the FBI, which means she may be compelled to rat on her bosses or face fines, sanctions, and/or imprisonment. Not surprisingly, the Daily Mail reports that she's been off the campaign trail holing up in her apartment and that a new poll shows a third of voters have had their support for Clinton impacted by the FBI revelations. As if that weren't enough, James O'Keefe of Project Veritas infamy has assured America that a recording of Clinton 'demeaning and disparaging black people' will be dropped early this week.

Hahahaha! Just kidding! They want Tim Kaine.

Yes, Tim Kaine, the man who's so far to the right they stood him next to Hillary Clinton just to make her look like a Democrat. The man who nobody voted for, the man with no primary delegates, the man who strongly supported the evil invasion of Iraq, the man Politico reports pushed for even fewer big bank regulations, the man who The Nation reports is a supporter of not just the predatory free trade agreements but even so-called "right-to-work" laws.

If this happens and Democrats are disappointed at the loss of their "first female candidate of a major party" moment in history, they will at least be able to take comfort in the nearly-as-historic event of two white male Republicans running against each other in a general election.

"The Democratic National Committee has all of the power of the Democratic National Convention when the convention is not in session. So the 104 members of the DNC, the committee, by a simple majority vote could remove her from the ticket and replace her."

(It's Bernie.)

As soon as rumblings of a replacement begin, we must make it abundantly clear to Democratic elites that a Republican who was only installed onto the ticket because of his willful abetting of an assault upon American democracy is not a valid replacement for Hillary Clinton. We must shake the earth and blot out the sky with our rage until they give us what they should never have stolen from us in the first place.

They owe us Bernie Sanders.

[Featured Image by Star Shooter/MediaPunch/IPX]