The creepy clowns terrorizing the U.S. have waddled their way over to the other side of the pond, where the U.K. is experiencing a “clownpocalypse” of its own.
However, the plucky Brits are refusing to let the white-faced, big-nose freaks rule the streets and more and more people are fighting back against the tyranny of the clowns.
Anyone who’s ever sat ringside at a circus will be familiar with the mild sense of dread and gnawing unease that accompanies the arrival of the clown.
To some, clowns are dysfunctional, giggling, white-faced half-wits in ill-fitting clothes and red rubber noses. To others, clowns are cheeky and endearing, clumsy buffoons who act out the tragic comedy of the human condition.
Yet to others, these grease-painted monstrosities are the stuff of nightmares. Think Stephen King’s Pennywise and serial killer John Wayne Gacy. Both clowns and both deeply psychopathic and evil.
The fierce and fluorescent horror of a clown can strike abject terror into the heart of anyone whose presence is registered by the beady and ever watchful eye of this strange circus breed.
Fear of the clown is a medically recognized condition called coulrophobia. Bizarrely enough, considering the roles he has played, Johnny Depp suffers from coulrophobia.
Silent movie star Lon Chaney Sr., nicknamed “The Man of a Thousand Faces,” once reportedly said, “There is nothing laughable about a clown in the moonlight.”
And how right he was.
Anyone who’s been targeted by the clown at a circus as the leering creature slowly waddles through a crowd of terrified audience members to carefully pick and pounce upon its prey will be familiar with the all-paralyzing fear which accompanies a bit of good old-fashioned audience participation with the clown creature.
The bravado and bluster of the intrusive clown will still the most defiant of hearts as it reaches out a garish polka dot arm and plucks some poor soul, mute with terror and compliant with fear, into the arena where a clown is sovereign and emperor of the fates — the circus ring!
Yet according to recent reports it would now appear that clowns are taking to the streets in growing numbers and viewing the whole world as their own personal circus ring in which to run riot and cause merry bloody havoc.
Clowns have been spotted in the U.S. brazenly attacking pedestrians, sticking up banks, and even attempting to lure children into the woods, and now the clownpocalypse which has held America in its icy creep has hit the streets of Britain.
The Daily Mail reports that during the last week in Newcastle alone, six clowns have been spotted bursting from bushes and chasing people. In County Durham, a knife-wielding clown chased four children as they were walking to school.
Yet in Plymouth, one man said enough to the plague of these creepy clowns, and turned the tables on one of these vile creatures who confronted him in a dark car-park with a hammer.
The YouTube video shows a man returning from a supermarket with a crate of beer and no doubt looking forward to relaxing after a hard day’s work.
The only problem being he is being stalked in a dark car-park by some loser dressed up as a clown in orange dungarees and holding a hammer.
The man tells the clown that he just wants to go home with the beverages, but the “joker” is blocking his path.
The man asks the clown, “What are you doing. I want to get past. I want to go home.”
Yet still the clown stands silently, trying its best to look intimidating. Obviously having enough of this bull*** and deciding this particular joke isn’t funny anymore, the man picks up one of his beer bottles and charges at the clown shouting, “Come on then.”
And the creepy clown?
Well it flees like a cowardly lion, petrified and athletic, to which the chasing man snarls, “Yeah. F*** off mate.”
Amen to that.
[Featured Image by Hulton Archive/Getty Images]