As Halloween draws closer, reports of killer clowns are becoming more frequent. Rather than take this bit of common sense into account, people seem to be becoming more and more hysterical as repeated reports of killer clowns crop up in the news. In fact, one such news report is suggesting that people dressed up as clowns for their job (such as a professional clown employed as an entertainer with the circus, or a struggling actor who dresses up as a clown for a child’s birthday party for Ramen noodle money) are actually worried that they’ll be seriously injured (or, worse, killed) by vigilantes who wish to rid their neighborhood of the so-called “killer clowns.” But one new theory is suggesting that a cinematic masterpiece from the 1980s predicted that all of this would happen — which does nothing to dispel the theory that these killer clowns are little more than a myth.
The cinematic masterpiece in question, of course, is Killer Klowns from Outer Space, and its title pretty much suggests what it’s all about: aliens from outer space that look like killer clowns who trap their victims in a cotton candy cocoon before drinking their blood through a straw. (It sounds creepy, but trust us, it’s actually hysterical.) With a measly $2 million budget, this film has gone on to the annals of movie history, in part because — as Rotten Tomatoes puts it — it’s grounded in reality as it tells the story of two teenage kids in love who tell the story about these killer clowns to the cops — who don’t believe them until the killer clowns threaten to annihilate the entire town.
Sound familiar? Has this happened in your area?
And how can you possibly resist this theme song? Sing along if you know the words, people!
The levity of a campy, if realistic, cinematic masterpiece aside, killer clowns are still posing a real problem — just not in the ways you think. According to The Cincinnati Enquirer, The World Clown Association (yes, such a thing exists) are seeing such a problem with this killer clowns phenomenon that they’ve had to issue a statement to quell everyone’s newfound coulrophobia.
“Just as a haunted house event may have a ‘doctor’ wearing surgical gear, carrying a bloody chainsaw, people need to understand that this character is not a real doctor. In the same way, people dressed as horror clowns are not ‘real clowns.’ They are taking something innocent and wholesome and perverting it to create fear in their audience.”
This statement was accompanied by pictures of what “law abiding clowns” look like and they, interestingly, look like the killer clowns featured in Killer Klowns from Outer Space. We see you, World Clown Association…
Still, while killer clowns are posing to be a nuisance more than anything really serious (what with John Wayne Gacy having died a long time ago, and The Joker being a fictional character), fake killer clown threats are getting people in trouble, as two New Jersey teens recently found out the hard way.
According to Gothamist, a 13-year-old girl and a 14-year-old boy in Washington Township were arrested for making two separate fake killer clown threats. Though the motive for the boy’s fake killer clown threats is unclear, the girl’s rationale was that she saw the sensation that the killer clowns reports were making in the media “and she thought it would be funny.” The teen girl is now looking at a series of harassment charges, and Gothamist is reporting that her family is cooperating with police to make sure she’s punished for what she’s done. (As well they should be…)
What do you think of these latest killer clowns reports?
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[Featured Image by AP Images]