Nicole Scherzinger is opening up about her struggles with bulimia for an upcoming episode of VH1’s Behind the Music.
Scherzinger, a former member of the Pussycat Dolls, said that she was “addicted” to self hatred and bulimia when she was a member of the band.
“I did it every day for, like, years … Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell. I just hated myself … I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life.”
According to MTV, Scherzinger struggled with bulimia for about eight years. The former X Factor host will open up about her eating disorder for the first time this Sunday on Behind the Music.
“It’s embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know. I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction … It’s like when I got offstage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.”
Here’s a preview of this weekend’s episode.
Here’s another video about Nicole Scherzinger’s struggle with bulimia.