Break-In Sex: Burglars Make Love On Couch, Owner Arrives Home Midway Through

WREG Memphis reports that a South Memphis woman recently received two increasingly nasty shocks in a row upon her return from an out-of town trip. The first was when she walked through her front door, found the house ransacked, and realized a break-in had occurred. The next came only a few moments later, when she walked into her trashed living room and came face-to-face with the couple who had committed said break-in. The two of them were naked and in the throes of sex on her couch. The immediate response of the two break-in artists, as well as the response the woman herself would demonstrate later, are both hilarious and a bit disturbing.

“Walk in and they’re having sex on my couch,” said Jamie Barnes, the unfortunate victim of the break-in, who also noted that her first clue something was wrong was that her front door had been wide open.

“I pick up my broom, I wanted to hit that man so bad.”

Break-in sex South Memphis burglars
[Image by Dstaerk/iStock]

Before she could do anything, the male break-in artist began yelling “I don’t know nothing” repeatedly while the woman disentangled herself and tried to cover herself up.

“She tried to grab one of my dresses and put it on and I snatched it from her. ‘What are you trying to do?'” recalls Barnes.

While Barnes was busy chastising the woman, though, the man who had been her sex partner up until just a moment before decided to take a more unabashed route by running from the scene of the break-in while still completely naked.

Barnes attempted to pursue the man but did not get far before losing him, say reports of the crime. Meanwhile, the female break-in artist was arrested for aggravated burglary. Her name later turned out to be Tonka Barnes, although there is no familial relation to Jamie.

One might question why the two were having sex during a break-in in the first place. Certainly, it would seem to be an inefficient use of time during an operation where time is of the essence. Of course, it is possible that the great tenuousness of the risky rendezvous is what made it so appealing.

“Crazy stuff,” Christian Jones, a neighbor, would say later.

“You never think something like that would happen. They’re getting too bold.”

Surprisingly, though, Jones is not even referring to the extra-unholy bout of sex in which the two break-in artists had engaged. Instead, he is talking about the unconcealed tenacity with which the two assumed control of Barnes’s home while she was gone.

In fact, Jones says, he saw the pair carrying baskets full of clothing out of the house and even trying to sell some of Barnes’s jewelery. Presumably, he had assumed the two were friends of Barnes helping her get rid of some unwanted belongings. Such an assumption would actually make a lot of sense, given that Barnes was in the process of moving out.

Now that the break-in occurred and one of the perpetrators is still out there, Barnes says, she wants to leave the house, which she is renting, even more than ever.

“I don’t feel comfortable at this house, so in my eyes, I’m homeless,” she says.

Break-in sex South Memphis burglars
Fortunately for Barnes and the police, this couple does not seem to be as crafty as, say, Bonnie and Clyde. [Photo by Simspix/iStock]

The total value of the property stolen during the break-in has not been revealed, but Barnes continues that the gruesome twosome managed to pillage quite a lot before their last hoorah – the shameless sex. Add that to the large amount of property damage the couple caused when they trashed the house, and that out-of-town trip ended up being very expensive indeed. To make matters worse, Barnes did not have renter’s insurance. She has set up a GoFundMe campaign to help her recover from the economic blow of the break-in/sex session. At the time of this posting, only $10 of the $2,200 goal has been raised.

As for the two break-in artists/sex deviants, let’s hope they are both properly apprehended. And if possible, some kind of seminar dealing with the idea of “there’s a time and place for everything” would be a great idea, too.

[Featured image by Kali9/iStock]