Kate Middleton has long been an admirer of Angelina Jolie, whose natural big-lipped elegance, horse-like features, and waif-like frame are considered outstanding qualities amongst the British upper-classes, but just how well is the delicate disposition of the Duchess of Cambridge coping with the dreadful news that Angie is filing for divorce from Brad Pitt?
The news that Brad and Angelina are splitting up will surely rank years from now as one of the darkest events to stain the 21st Century. Both coarse commoners and elevated nobles across the globe have been united in their grief for the destruction of that which was once considered truly impregnable — the mighty “Brangelina.”
From the lowest of the low to the highest of the high, from Kim Kardashian to Kate Middleton, it almost feels that no man or beast has been left untouched by what many are regarding as a modern tragedy of Shakespearian proportions.
The outpouring of grief that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce has triggered almost deserves to be honored with a national day to mark its significance — or at least a song by Elton John.
Thankfully, much of the media has dutifully put other, less important stories on the back burner in favor of an in-depth analysis on Brad and Angelina’s relationship in a determined bid to find out where it all went wrong.
Like millions of other fans of Hollywood’s golden couple, Kate Middleton was no doubt intently scrutinizing the tabloids while scoffing her eggs and bacon like a woman possessed to find out what caused, as Adele grandly put it, “the end of an era.”
In Brad and Angie’s defense, it’s always difficult for lovers when they have neurotic ex-partners who just won’t crawl under a rock and quietly rock themselves into hibernation, but in Jennifer Aniston and Billy Bob Thornton, Pitt and Jolie had two high-profile bed buddies destined to haunt their relationship like stained bed sheets.
Similar to a bunny-boiling ghost from a bad romance, Billy Bob confessed in 2012 that he’d love Angie until the end of his life, and not only that, he also revealed he loved Brad Pitt too. Now what kind of talk is that, if not the spiel of a grinning, all-singing, all-dancing, slightly unhinged former lover who’s only an alcoholic beverage away from becoming a manic, bug-eyed, and drooling-at-the-mouth stalker?
Nevertheless, Brad and Angie put their old flames and blood-filled vial-pendant necklaces behind them and moved on to bigger, brighter, and better things together.
One such thing was a double date with Prince William and Kate Middleton in June of 2015.
A friend of Kate Middleton previously told OK! Magazine, “Kate adores how Angelina’s always so graceful and elegant and makes everything look so effortless.”
In short, like all the best fashion designers and fashion queens, the Duchess of Cambridge absolutely adores ladies with zero body fat and skeletal frames. And they don’t come much thinner than our Jolie.
When Middleton and Jolie finally met in the flesh, they were rumored to get on like a house on fire.
While Prince William and Brad Pitt were locked in deep conversations about how they could save the elephants, no doubt Kate and Angie were discussing their favorite cream cakes, comparing waist sizes, and waging a sisterly war on cellulite.
It’s likely that future plans for double dates together between the two couples were fervently discussed, but alas with the sad news of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce, it looks like Kate Middleton and Prince William will have to look elsewhere for a friendly foursome adventure.
I suppose there’s always David and Victoria Beckham? But then again…
[Featured Image by Jason Merritt/Getty Images]