Are you a fan of mysteries? I hope so, as Alaskan Bush People has left us with some doozies over the course of the past five seasons. From off-camera inconsistencies to unexplained love connections, Alaskan Bush People has a few loose ends it might never tie up. On the other hand, if you’re someone who hates dealing with unanswered questions, then these tidbits will likely drive you bonkers.
Mystery 1: Why Did The Opal Sink At The End Of Season 1?
The Opal’s sinking was a sudden and sad end to the Alaskan Bush People documentary. It was also what spawned the return of the Brown family in subsequent seasons. And yet despite that unfortunate event, we’ve yet to learn exactly how or why the boat sank. According to the Ketchikan Daily News, it’s believed the Opal sank after hitting a breakwater.
While that’s a simple enough explanation, some question why nothing was done to save the boat before it was forced to the bottom of the harbor.
It was theorized by a loyal Reality TV Scandal commenter that the Opal likely hit “a floating breakwater,” and through “sheer laziness and neglect,” the Browns failed to address any potential problems. The commenter is convinced the event was due to sheer irresponsibility.
Cynical claims aside, it was certainly the beginning of a recurring theme for the Browns. Season after season on Alaskan Bush People, the Browns wind up losing everything or are otherwise forced to relocate and start from scratch. So did the Opal sink because of neglect, an accident, or was it all planned for dramatic effect?
We’ll likely never hear a reply that’s 100 percent satisfactory to bystanders.
Mystery #2: Exactly How Did Noah Meet That Hot Actress?
Yes, we’re pretty sure the woman Noah invited to Browntown in early Season 5 for a romantic couple of dates was a paid actress. However, because the producers behind Alaskan Bush People and the Discovery Channel itself have yet to fess up, we’re going to have to treat this like it’s not remotely staged.
As such, it’s a puzzling scenario: When would someone like Noah have the opportunity to stumble across a lovely Californian who just so happened to be an actress? More importantly, why was there no footage of their meeting in that road trip episode? With the family followed 27/7 by camera crews, it seems odd that we have footage of Bear climbing a palm tree but nothing of that fateful meeting.
So I guess we’ll just have to take Noah’s word for it that enough sparks flew and she was given a map to somehow locate the Brown’s isolated homestead somewhere in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness — and despite the alleged lack of phones and internet.
Mystery 3: No More Bears In Browntown?
You could kick a stone in Season 4 of Alaskan Bush People and hit a bear. In Season 5, though, nothing. We had one mention and some mild footage that I’m not sure was new. It almost seemed recycled. So much time was spent going on about how their stretch of Alaskan wilderness was ground zero for bears that it seemed bizarre the creatures became a virtual non-factor overnight.
Was it because producers wanted to move on from talking about wild animals? If so, it might explain why there’s virtually no hunting on Alaskan Bush People at this point.
Speaking of which…
Mystery 4: Was Hunting Banned On Alaskan Bush People?
The early seasons of Alaskan Bush People were rather gratuitous when it came to dead animals. We saw deer shot, stripped of their entrails, and decoratively hanged. You couldn’t escape it — until you could because it didn’t happen much anymore, at least not on-camera.
Before Bam and Billy’s departure for not-jail, there was a symbolic hunting trip that was more about family togetherness than bringing home any food. The Oregon Trail fan in me was highly offended. If Alaskan Bush People comes back at some point, do you think the Wolf Pack will make any effort to remind us that they’re not vegans?
Mystery 5: Why Did Alaskan Bush People Smear Alaska?
There’s no getting around this one. It was ugly. As we all know, the Browns lied on their Permanent Fund Dividend (PFD) forms. Alaskan Bush People attempted to make the charges against the Browns ambiguous despite the fact that the charges were based on a time period before the show even aired.
The window of time in question stretched from about 2007 to 2010 or 2008 to 2011; different news sources quote different time windows. However, one thing is clear: For approximately four years, the Browns told Alaska they were in the state. They weren’t.
Thanks to the lack of honesty, the Alaskan Bush People cast received thousands of dollars to which they were not entitled by Alaska state law. Hence, the charges and eventual conviction.
Instead of Alaskan Bush People being upfront and the Browns making any attempt at admission to wrongdoing, the show threw the state and its residents under the bus. Alaskan Bush People first implied that the cast was being singled out for their unique way of life. Later, it was practically suggested that Alaskan law enforcement has nothing else better to do with its time than harass reality TV stars.
This move to smear Alaska is probably the biggest mystery of all as it makes absolutely no sense.
Why pretend that you are an innocent victim when the evidence is easily searchable on the internet? Why attack Alaskan state prosecutors for doing their jobs, as if news sources like CNN and Alaska Dispatch-News aren’t going to lay out the facts of the case?
These are some head-scratchers to be sure. With Alaskan Bush People likely returning for a new season, we can expect at least one new confusing mystery to be added to the bunch. What burning questions has Alaskan Bush People left you puzzling over? Share them below!
[Image via the Discovery Channel]