Orlando Bloom Exposure Triggers Online Stampede For More Nudity

Orlando Bloom’s shock and awe campaign was a phenomenal success across the board, as Yahoo would attest. Not since Operation Desert Storm in Iraq has a mission accomplished its target with such precision. Now, the entire World Wide Web is reeling from the adrenaline rush of Wednesday night. Henceforth, August 3, 2016, should go down in history as the Orlando Bloom D-Day.

By the way, the original D-Day was June 6, 1944, when the Allied Forces wrestled France’s Normandy from the clutches of Adolf Hitler. Orlando, however, would channel his inner Legolas by shooting his arrows, drawing mixed reactions from social media. For one thing, Bloom’s brave act has set men free forever. No man need fear nudity from now on.


Cable networks like HBO may feel that they have been hit by lightning with Bloom’s classic move. For example, Game Of Thrones might be forced to cozy up to a balancing act in male and female nudity for what is reportedly the series’ last two seasons, according to E! News. For those channels who don’t feel like adjusting to present day realities, the threat of obsolescence hangs over their heads like the sword of Damocles.

This is not the first time that Orlando Bloom has done a full frontal nudity, though. As a rare treat to placate those who still hunger and thirst for more of what the liberated actor has to give, a film called Zulu is the answer, suggests The Telegraph. The reason why almost nobody heard of this flick was it “never received a proper UK or US cinema release (although it is now available on DVD).”

In the movie, Bloom plays the role of a South African police chief who investigates drug-related murders. The picture promises to deliver quite a treat.

“Bloom is completely nude. Fans were promised the full Orlando…and the full Orlando was duly delivered. Bloom revealed that, during filming for Zulu, he spent seven days on set wearing just a co*k sock to protect his modesty.”

If you are still not satisfied after all you’ve seen on your computer screen, this only proves that pornography is non-cathartic. Meaning, is there a point of satiety with regard to viewing adult content? If you ask Research Gate, you are likely to get no for an answer.

“Our 2SLS estimates suggest that internet usage is associated with a substantial increase in reported incidences of rape and other sex crimes.”

So consider yourself forewarned.

There is also reason to suspect that the Orlando Bloom revelation might have been causing some counter-productive work stoppages since Wednesday night. This and many other different reactions have been observed in the Twitterverse.


Orlando Bloom’s audacity would also trigger condemnation from fellow celebrities, as well as body shaming. It is a mixed reaction or so, says Just Jared.


In other cases, the Orlando phenomenon would incite competition, as in Justin Bieber’s recent reaction.


Analyzed further, the controversial Bloom antics are an authentic CFNM (Clothed Female, Naked Male) positioning. That is, Orlando Bloom’s girlfriend, Katy Perry stays fully clothed as her man is stark naked, as described in Vanity Fair.

However, people seem to be quick to forgive Orlando Bloom, though, as they remember him steeped in humanitarian work. And this only proves that no matter how obnoxious a controversy is, a well-cultivated positive image is still left standing proud and strong at the end. It is reminiscent of Prince Harry and the Las Vegas controversy, TMZ relishes.

It would seem like the end of the world when it happened. The die is cast, but the prince decides to pick up the pieces where he left off and continued with his life, as well as his charitable endeavors. Perhaps, Orlando Bloom knows this only too well. In the aftermath of the Internet and social media storm that he caused, the actor and philanthropist seems at peace with the world or else we would have heard apologies by now.

And that is how we know how big a man is or how mature Orlando Bloom is. He also doesn’t seem afraid that his son will see what he’s done as he inspires a world of men.

[Photo by Paul A. Hebert/Invision/AP Images]