Melania Trump set a high bar with her half-plagiarized, sensationalized, splatter of words at the Republican National Convention. Largely downplayed in an almost laughable manner by the majority of media outlets all over the country, the facts paint a painfully obvious picture of debauchery.
Melania Trump on plagiarism allegations: “That’s ridiculous. I worked on that speech for four score and seven years.”
~ Seth Meyers????
— Professional Heckler (@HecklerForever) July 26, 2016
This type of situation seems to follow our country’s Republican presidential nominee, Donald Trump, like a lost puppy dog. Just as insanity has taken a strong hold on our country’s electoral process, satire finds an inviting home among the skeptics.
Let us assume for a moment (we all know where that usually leads) that Donald Trump could possibly be taught how to properly conduct himself as a candidate for the highest office our government provides. A lowly nerd (like myself) may just offer some excellent assistance to a man trying to find his place in this world. Here is a short breakdown of four basic life lessons Donald Trump could learn from playing The Pokémon Company’s most recent sensation, Pokémon GO.
Lessons in Diversity
There are 18 different official types of Pokémon. Most social sciences recognize three or four major races of humans divided into approximately 30 subgroups. Humanity is highly diverse, and so are the various types of Pokémon. If Donald Trump were to delve into the social relations of all the types of Pokémon, he would quickly learn that each type has its own benefits and downfalls. No one type of Pokémon is truly any better than the other.
Basic Negotiation & Strategy Skills
Being a spectator in the sport of Trump’s presidential campaign, it is easy to see where there could have been a bit more diplomacy added up to this point. Pokémon GO triumphs in the arena of strategy and the ability to objectively negotiate. As a Pokémon Trainer, players are required to learn the delicate art of a positive give-and-take negotiations. For example, when catching a rather ornery Pokémon, a trainer can offer a tasty raspberry to “soften” its demeanor. Patience and approach matter when a country is trying to avoid a war.
Loyalty & Perseverance
Loyalty and perseverance are absolutely necessary qualities to exhibit when applying for a position in the Oval Office. Seeing as though these character attributes have not been displayed in abundance by Trump’s campaign, Pokémon GO is here to help!
Invest in the story of Ash and Pikachu. Pikachu has long proven his loyalty and absolute firm reinforcement in every battle between Ash and Team Rocket. He even refused to evolve into his more powerful form to maintain his friendship with his trainer. Pikachu is not the only loyal Pokémon. In fact, they are all loyal to their trainers.
Crisis Management Abilities
In the event of a life crisis (whether it is large or small), there are certain coping mechanisms that are generally considered psychologically sound and more effective. For example, a toupee might help an individual cope with issues related to male pattern baldness. On the other hand, drinking alcohol to excess in an attempt to deal with the breakdown of a marriage probably is not the most constructive way to manage a life-altering crisis. No worries. Playing Pokémon GO can help.
When that Poké Ball shakes two times, and that 758CP Bulbasaur breaks free only to swiftly run away, the crisis quickly ensues. A trainer must learn to control his/her emotion in the midst of the worst, soul-crushing defeats. The game must go on!
[Image via Kin Cheung/AP Images]