The Two-Headed Monster Of The One-Party System

I’d just like to bring it to everyone’s attention — the Clintons don’t fear Donald Trump.

Now, you know that’s true. They play golf with him. They went to his wedding. You can’t tell me they’re scared of him. They like him. He’s funny. They’re friends with all the same people; they’ve been doing business for years. Donald even donated to her campaign.

Donald on Bill according to the New York Times,

“He’s a great gentleman, a good golfer and a wonderful guy.”

And friends help each other out, you know? It’s not illegal, it’s just friendship. I know for myself that if I had to hire someone to cut a tree down, for example, I’d hire my friend’s company. Not only would I prefer to give them the money, but I trust them to do a good job and I know they’d do the same for me.

So, it’s important to really grok into the fact that they are all actually friends. Hillary doesn’t go home to Bill and go “Ooh, that Donald, he’s a megalomaniac, we must not let him near the White House or else the end of the world is nigh!”

She says, “Oh deary me, did you hear what Don said today? Isn’t he a gas? Isn’t it his daughter’s birthday soon? We can’t forget this time.”

Because they’re friends.

They’re all on the same team. A vote for Hillary or a vote for Trump, both votes go to their friendship group. It’s not some spooky conspiracy, it’s just a fact — they are all mates, and they all work together. The One Percent Club.

Ralph Nader famously shared this lovely anecdote,

“I once said to my father, when I was a boy, ‘Dad we need a third political party.’ He said to me, ‘I’ll settle for a second.’”

Also, it’s good to note that the Clintons have never been scared of the right. Tim Kaine makes Hillary look like a hippy. During Bill’s tenure, he did everything he could to drag the party to the right. Hillary’s logo is an arrow pointing to the right. As a pair, all their past actions and policy have pulled the Democrats to the right. Because, they’re rich, you know? They have investments to protect. They have their tribe to protect.

They are, however, very scared of the left. Terrified of Bernie Sanders and his movement. They did a lot of very illegal things to make sure he didn’t get the nomination, and some of them out in broad daylight. The mass movement of working class people frightens them much more than their mad mate Trump.

We’re being played. We’re being played so hard. Pumped on the hysterics of Correct The Record, the Hillary Clinton thought police, swathes of people are screaming at Bernie supporters that they must support Hillary because Trump.

But even Hillary knows that a Trump presidency would be okay. He’s a wild one though; he’s erratic, and he doesn’t always fall in line with their tribe. Of course she’d rather it be her, they all would, and no one ever thought he’d make it this far. He was a spoiler. But the ex-wrestling heel is a showman first and foremost, who knows how to play a crowd. He’s never been anti-gay or anti-Hispanic in his life before taking on this role of aspiring presidential candidate. It’s all a part of the show. She knows that. Everyone knows that. The only worry for the establishment is that he is erratic and may not play nice with everyone’s investments.

I’m not suggesting we should let him take the reins. In a spooky segment on Morning Joe a few days back, Joe Scarborough alleged that The Donald asked three times in a meeting with advisors, why can’t nuclear warheads be used.

We’ve all met someone like The Don. We all have a friend who loves to big note and start things and never finish them. Captain Chaos. We’ve watched him try to self-destruct his own campaign several times already, saying the most outrageous things. There are a few things that could be going on there — he’s getting bored and just saying stuff for his own amusement and to see how far he can push it, or he’s getting bored and he wants out so he’s saying crazy things. Or maybe, and the timing on these explosions is always interesting because they often come at the same time some bad news drops in the Hillary campaign, maybe he’s making a distraction for his friends.

I think it’s already occurred to him that being president is going to be pretty boring. He might even have to read stuff. Lots of meetings. He’ll have to go out on the lawn and say statesmen-like things when there’s a national tragedy. People will want him all the time. He’ll have to be consistent, he’ll have to show up, he’ll have to turn his attention to some tedious documents and excruciating legalese, and for a long time, too. Four whole years. For an entrepreneur and playboy who likes to make things happen and then leave the drudge work to minions, being president is actually a kind of a death.

I don’t think he wants it. He’s already alluded that he’ll leave the day-to-day operations to his VP. That would be better than having him get bored and mashing buttons which could be apocalyptic, but it will only be marginally better given the direction the Republicans want to take America in: the same direction that the Clintons want to take America — like the arrow in her Goldwater-inspired logo, she wants to take America to the right.

Which is why she’s targeting Trump-wary Republicans right now.

Genius, really. What may have started as a bit of a joke over a few beers after a game of golf has now become the keystone strategy play for returning the Clintons to the White House.

And as long as they have us fighting furiously over who is the lesser evil, no one will have time to stand back and wonder why we’ve only got two choices from the exact same tribe.

When you zoom out, what we’re seeing now is two parties becoming one. Hillary Clinton gathers all the Republicans and the progressives are shamed into voting for her anyway because they rightly fear Captain Chaos. It’s epic. Awful. But masterful as well.

And if it weren’t at the precipice of climate chaos disaster, it wouldn’t matter too much. The problem is that eight more years of more of the same is as an apocalyptic surety as much as a Trump on the red button is. They’re both the same, both paths lead to human extinction, and that’s not surprising because they’re both from the same tribe.

We need a whole new way.

[Photo by Tomohiro Ohsumi/Getty Images]