Fredrik Eklund Says He’s Rediscovering Himself After Two Miscarriages

Fredrik Eklund has had a tough year. This Million Dollar Listing: New York star was so excited when he found out that he was expecting twins through a surrogate that he tweeted about it through emoticons without actually announcing anything. But when the news broke, it didn't take long before Eklund learned that his surrogate had miscarried the twins. When this season of Million Dollar Listing started again, fans learned that Eklund and his husband, Derek Kaplan, had tried once more, but had failed to conceive through surrogacy. Fredrik was ready to give up on everything, but his husband encouraged him to keep going.

According to a new Instagram post, Fredrik Eklund is now revealing that he's rediscovering himself this summer. When the show ended, Fredrik was open to the idea of trying again, but the cameras didn't capture his visits to the doctor's office. However, it sounds like Derek wants to keep going, so he can give Eklund that child he so desperately wants.

"Falling in love with him all over again. Discovering the limestone quarries of Gotland. Dinners outside with the family by the ocean. The tall skinny pine trees. The wood sauna and the cold pool. Feeling so proud of my brother and his new summer house. Holding Belle's hand. Seeing Anna happy in love. Old childhood memories of the young me reactivated again - in the best of ways. Home baked fruit and nut bread with Swedish cheese," Fredrik revealed in his Instagram post, sharing that he was really enjoying some time at home in Sweden.

"Watching the sun never really set here (it never gets fully dark). Playing Xbox with my nephews. Seeing my dad happy in love again. Laughing until we cry. Old songs I haven't heard since I moved to New York. So much love this Swedish summer. So sad to soon leave. So happy to have fallen in love with it all again. You know, life is funny that way: we rediscover ourselves. Over and over again," he continued.

Of course, Fredrik has been traveling around Europe for the past couple of days. While his co-star, Ryan Serhant, got married in Greece last week, he decided to pass on the invitation because he didn't feel it was the right move for him to be at the wedding. Instead, he took his husband and family to Italy and he's currently back in Sweden, visiting his father and brother.

And while Fredrik was filming Million Dollar Listing: New York, Derek made Fredrik Eklund realize that he was already a father. Fans learned that Derek already had a son, who he helped conceive when two of his lesbian friends were looking for sperm. Derek's son's name is Kai, and Derek is biologically his father. And because Kaplan and Fredrik are married, Eklund is technically a step-father already. He just didn't see it that way until Derek explained it to him.

"I learned a LOT this year. Kai now has two fathers," Fredrik Eklund revealed in a separate Instagram post, sharing that he learned a lot about his role as a step-father and how he had been a father this entire time without realizing it.

If Eklund and Kaplan decide to go through with another round of eggs and sperm, one can imagine they won't share the journey with the media. It was so tough on Fredrik Eklund last time that he may want to keep this journey to himself, at least until he knows that the baby or babies are fully developed and the chance of a miscarriage is smaller.

What do you think of Fredrik Eklund's post on Instagram about rediscovering himself? Do you think he should try again to have a baby?

[Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images]