If you’ve yet to see the chocolate eclair hot dog, it’s basically exactly what it sounds like — except worse.
A sweet and savory mashup as seen in the chocolate eclair hot dog is not entirely out of the realm of American food parlance as various purveyors of fat fattiness are known to sandwich an all-beef patty or two between halves of a Krispy Kreme donut.
And while a Krispy Kreme donut burger is a pretty disgusting thought even when you’re really, really hungry or really, really high, there are so many additional levels of horror when considering a chocolate eclair hot dog.
The porky snap and slick casing contrast, for instance. The custardy filling that by no stretch of the imagination has any place at all near meat of any description, any time ever. And while a Krispy Kreme plain donut has a sugar glaze, the chocolate eclair hot dog has an unabashed chocolate ganache one. Chocolate. Ganache. And pork.
What are we doing, humanity? And yes, you can see it, but it bears mentioning. The grill-marked and greasy exterior of the frank is slathered in whipped cream and sprinkles. No one was spared, not even the children.
What may shock you is that the chocolate eclair donut is not only not a feverish creation of the American State Fair circuit or from the deep South; it’s not even American at all. The horrifying creation hails from Canada, and the only advice we can proffer is to maybe build a border fence with some electricity or extra fences to keep this kind of culinary creature from filtering across from American kitchens to infect our mild-mannered neighbors to the north.
Pic above of the hideous and horrible chocolate eclair hot dog. Now be honest: Could any amount of money tempt you to put this abomination in your mouth under any circumstances?