“Have you ever wanted to lick your cat?” is the first sentence from the page of a recent Kickstarter campaign for the “Licki Brush,” a sort of prosthetic cat tongue you can hold in your mouth while “licking” your cat with it.
Since the page went up this past Tuesday, it has gone viral, being trumpeted by users all over social media, and the hilariously obvious erotic undertones pointed out my many sources discussing the idea more than likely have something to do with the immense buzz it has generated.
The idea of the cat licking device is valid; supposedly licking each other’s fur is, in part, a way for cats to bond with one another, and doing it as a human, even if the licking is being done with an artificial tongue, builds the bond between cat and owner.
The “tongue” of the device is made from silicone and has bumps on it to make it feel like a real cat tongue. It is attached to a solid rubber mouthpiece for owners to wield orally, like a pacifier.
Note that, as many publications have reported, this product does not appear to be a joke, and the Jason O’Mara who started the Kickstarter campaign for it has been known to market legitimate cat-related products in the past.
Can you say BIZARRE?. You have to see it in action to believe it. We'll tell you all about the 'Licki Brush' at 6:53 pic.twitter.com/bMpUxvN05t
— Kate Chappell (@kchappellnews) May 20, 2016
Metro is only one of the sources to point out that, while the idea is good, though, it is also strangely uncomfortable, and the wording of the page is not helping to lessen the overtones of eroticism the idea carries with it.
But after reading the Kickstarter page, can you blame them? After all, notes AV Club, the instructions posted on the page for how to engage in proper cat licking with the Licki Brush “read like an erotic passage from a romance novel.”
“Gently grasp LICKI’s bite portion with your teeth,” the page advises.
“Slowly approach your cat when she is sleeping or in an otherwise pleasant mood, and ease into the soothing and mutually beneficial licking behavior of cats. Don’t be surprised if your cat licks you back.”
Already, the wording sounds way too sexual for the author to have made it so unintentionally. Maybe he was operating under the philosophy that “sex sells?”
— Animated CAT GIFs (@Only_Cat_GIFs) May 6, 2016
But wait, it gets worse… or better, depending on your level of immaturity.
“Invite your friends and their cats over for LICKI parties,” the page continues.
It also says that if you pledge $35 or more to the Kickstarter, you will be shipped two of the Licki brushes when they are available.
“Give your cat the joy of a two-tongue massage.”
Come on now. Can you honestly picture two people, both biting down on Licki Brushes, “licking” one cat together? Just writing that description feels vaguely erotic.
And hold onto your hats, cat lovers, because if you pledge $124 or more, you’ll be given ten of the units. That means you can invite a whole gang of your cat-loving buddies over for massive cat love-fests.
“What fun you will have!!!” reads the page.
Whether O’Mara wrote the sexually-charged Licki Brush description as some sort of viral marketing technique or a straightforward page to help cat licking enthusiasts enjoy their hobby more hygienically and conveniently, it is certainly working. Not only does Jason have some of the biggest sites on the internet publishing articles about his product, but he has already amassed $8,589 in pledges from 36 Kickstarter backers.
Only $24,000 to go until Jason’s pledge goal is reached, and then all of society’s cat licking needs will be satisfied.
[Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images]