Andi Dorfman is not finished talking about her experiences on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. In fact, she’s just beginning. The former Atlantic district attorney has detailed her reality dating experiences in a new book, It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Ever After, and she has a whole lot to say about exes Juan Pablo Galavis and Josh Murray.
In an interview with Cosmopolitan, Andi described standing in the cold at 4:30 in the morning waiting for a stranger—Juan Pablo Galavis— to give her a rose was “the stupidest thing” she has ever been a part of. But in a more surprising declaration, Andi revealed that had she met her former fiancé Josh Murray off-camera, she probably would have seen his true personality and wouldn’t have stayed with him long.
“I don’t think I would’ve dated him as long,” Andi said of her ill-fated engagement to Josh. “When you go on this show, you put your best foot forward. You’re introducing yourself to the world, in a way — why would you want to show your worst qualities? I don’t think he hid who he was, but the situations we were in didn’t bring out his more negative traits. “
“Like, I didn’t know he had a temper because every time he was with me, it was just the two of us in a palace or something. How could you not be happy?
Andi revealed that wine, family, and friends helped her through her high-profile relationship with Murray—with an emphasis on the wine. Dorfman ultimately quit her job and moved to New York for a fresh start because she had “nothing to lose.”
Still, that didn’t stop Andi from spending one final night with Josh to get closure, despite the fact that she had a one-way ticket to the Big Apple already booked.
“If I didn’t have an exit plan, I probably wouldn’t have done it, because I might have gone back into a tailspin,” Dorfman said of her final night with Murray. “But I felt the need to take control over my own life. The breakup dictated two months of my life. So I was like, all right, I have to move on somehow. I have unfinished business. And let me tell you, I never looked back after that one relapse.”
Andi and Josh announced they were parting ways last January. Us Weekly posted Josh and Andi’s breakup statement, in which they mutually announced that after months of working on their relationship they had decided to go their separate ways but would remain good friends. One year later, it will be interesting to see if they remain friends now that Andi has dished the dirt on their far-from-a-fairytale engagement.
While Andi Dorfman now admits she “had no business” being on reality TV, she told Cosmo she learned a couple of important things about herself and the types of men she wants to be with.
“I definitely don’t want someone who’s controlling,” Dorfman said.”I don’t want someone who feels like they can skirt around being supportive. To me, a partner is someone who has your back no matter what. Instead of you against him, it’s y’all against the world.”
Andi also said she no longer has a “type” when it comes to men.
“I figured out that I actually had no idea what I was looking for. I had this idea of what my type was — my ex was basically my type on steroids. And you see how that turned out. I feel like now I know more about what I don’t want.”
Dorfman’s book It’sNot Okay: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Ever will be in stores May 17.
Take a look at the video below to see Andi Dorfman talking about what she has learned about dating.
[Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images for ESPN]