Aisha Tyler has some talking to do. The 45-year-old Talk co-host is getting a divorce from her husband Jeff Tietjens. Tietjens has filed divorce documents in Los Angeles Superior Court, citing irreconcilable differences, according to TMZ. While Jeff, an attorney, isn’t seeking spousal support from Aisha at this time, he indicated in the court papers that he is reserving the right to do so later.
Unbeknownst to most talk fans, Aisha Tyler and her husband have been separated since January 2015. Tyler has long talked about her bestie relationship with Jeff, who was her college sweetheart. Aisha and Jeff met at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire, and married in May 1992. A rep for Aisha Tyler told TMZ that Tyler and Tietjens are divorcing but will remain good friends.
Aisha Tyler hasn’t done much talking about her marital troubles on The Talk. In fact, most fans are shocked by the news that her seemingly strong marriage is ending. Still, Tyler did get candid about the couple’s fertility issues during the “Secrets Week” on The Talk in 2013. The tell-all week had the hosts of the CBS chatfest each sharing personal revelations. For her spiel, Aisha talked about her struggle to get pregnant and her ultimate decision to stop trying to have kids.
Tyler broke down on The Talk as she opened up about a two-year fertility struggle that she and Tietjens went through. Aisha revealed that they both finally decided “it wasn’t worth it,” and they decided to stop trying. Tyler explained that, after going off of birth control, she was told that she has a tortuous fallopian tube, so the couple tried in vitro fertilization when she was 40 years old.
Aisha revealed that she had spent thousands of dollars on IVF and hormone shots, only to be told by her doctor that it didn’t look like she would ever be able to conceive. Still, Tyler seemed to have made peace with her decision to stop trying to have a baby.
“I married my husband because I loved him and I don’t feel like there’s anybody missing from our marriage,” Aisha said. At the time, Tyler said she hadn’t ruled out adoption, and in a later interview with Huff Post Live, Tyler said she had completely embraced her decision to not have kids.
“Once we decided not to get pregnant, I snapped back into work mode and now I have just been really enjoying my career. There’s a clock ticking on the pregnancy thing, but not a clock ticking on adoption.”
In an interview with Advocate, Tyler talked in detail about how her infertility and said there is more to marriage than just babymaking.
“For someone to say that marriage is only about procreation is a joke. I didn’t marry my husband to have children. I married my husband because I love my husband. I believe that the essence of marriage is choosing someone who loves you for who you are, embraces everything about you, and building a life with that person. Whether that life is with children or without children — it’s honestly immaterial to building a life with someone that you love fully.”
Aisha also defended her long marriage, saying she didn’t consider it a failure because it didn’t produce children.
“My husband and I are about to celebrate our 20th anniversary. And for 18 of those years, we did not want kids. To say that somehow our marriage is less because we didn’t have children back then, or a failure now because we can’t, is total bullsh*t. “
Aisha Tyler comes from a family of divorce. On a previous episode of The Talk, she revealed that, when she was a child her parents told her and her sister Feri that they were getting divorced on Christmas Eve. According to People, Tyler said there is “a way” to divorce kindly, especially if children are involved.
“If you are going through a divorce, there is a way to do it, where you protect your kids,” Aisha said. “What our parents did was, they divorced kindly, and we always felt loved. I never heard my mother or my father say one bad word about each other. Not one, no matter how angry they were. No matter how furious.”
Tyler also talked about her sister’s decision to come out as a lesbian later in life, but her words ring true for her own life now as well.
“It’s never too late to change your life if there is something you are unhappy about, if you are keeping a secret.”
Take a look at the video below to see Aisha Tyler talking about her infertility struggles.
[Photo By Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images]