Poetic Costco College Admissions Essay Gets Student Into Stanford, Yale, Columbia And Cornell

Zachary Volkert - Author
By

Apr. 1 2016, Updated 11:54 p.m. ET

Ivy League hopefuls to colleges like Yale and Stanford shouldn’t discount the power of the admissions essay, or, it seems, of Costco samples.

Brittany Stinson found out Thursday that she’d gotten into an impressive five Ivy League schools based partly on the strength of her stand-out admissions essay. Her topic wasn’t becoming the first woman president or discovering a cure for a cancer, but instead a nostalgic essay about exploring Costco as a child, reported Business Insider.

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“Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial-­sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.”

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Brittany managed to get into Stanford, Yale, Columbia, Cornell and the University of Pennsylvania. The highest acceptance rate among them is 17 percent, and Stanford and Columbia both allow in just 7 percent of their tens of thousands of applicants, reported College Simply. Costco was probably the last thing on most of their minds when it came to impressing these notoriously picky schools.

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“Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­ loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well- mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.”

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