Teacher’s Odd Absence Excuse: “I Killed A Girl”

A Scotland teacher who just wanted the day off probably could have just said that he was sick. Instead, he told school officials that he had killed a girl with his car, and therefore would be unable to come to work that day.

Derek McGlone, a 42-year-old teacher at the Calderhead High School in Scotland, apparently had a reputation for making up outlandish excuses to get out of work, but his latest took the cake. The music teacher reportedly called into work, saying that he had accidentally run over a little girl with his car, which would obviously keep him out of shcool for the day. “He said he felt his car wheels running over her body,” Calderhead High School head Joyce Kilmartin wrote in an official statement Obtained by UPI.

At another point in time, McGlone called from his Glasgow home, claiming that he was stuck in a volcanic cloud in Iceland, reports the Huffington Post.

Eventually his house of cards tumbled, and he was called into a General Teaching Council Scotland (GTCS) meeting to fess up to his fabrications. He also earned some trouble to his reaction after finding out that other teachers had sold him out. He reportedly got drunk and turned to Facebook (always a good idea) calling his co-workers “bitches” and saying that he would “hunt them down.”

He has since resigned.

Ultimately, McGlone did confess and show a degree of contrition, admitting “I can give no reasonable explanation for my actions,” to the Council, and adding that he was “embarrassed and sorry.”

He has since expressed a desire to return to teaching. Perhaps at a new school, he can start from the ground-up with less-outlandish absence excuses.

Here’s a video report from our pals at Newsy about Derek McGlone’s odd absence excuses: