Batman versus Superman: Who would really win in a fight? It’s a question as old as time… well, at least since both characters have been around, anyway. As Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice dominates the entertainment world this weekend, Vulture asked a number of celebrities, comic writers, and critics the hard-hitting question. Here are a few of the best responses.
“I suppose theoretically Superman’s got the edge because he’s not from this planet. Batman’s just really stacked, you know what I mean? But listen, that’s a fight I’m willing to watch. That’s a proper odd boxing match. We’ll see, I guess, this weekend. But everyone should go and see I Saw the Light instead.”
“You know, I don’t really care. I wish they’d both injure themselves and shut up. Because this whole Batman vs. Superman thing, I just don’t get it. I think it’s weird to have superheroes fighting because aren’t they all supposed to be for the common good? It seems to be counterintuitive.”
“Superman, ’cause I’ve always had a crush on him. How do I think he would win? Just smoldering good looks.”
Greg Pak (comics writer, Batman/Superman)
“It depends on what the best story’s gonna be, in the moment. If there’s a great story to be told where Batman wins, and if there’s a great story to be told where Superman wins, that’s it. Any character in comics can beat any other character in comics under the right circumstances.”
“Batman, obviously. I support Batman. He’s my guy. He would win because he’s more badass than Superman. He’d beat him up. He’s just better. He would just out cool him. Superman would just be shamed into flying away.”
“I think it’s a matter of how much preparation time Batman would have. Like, if he knew it was coming, I think he’d get ’em, because I think he’s industrious enough to figure it out. If they just met in the street, there are just some obvious advantages Superman has. Flying helps. Being impervious to violence helps.”
Emma Houxbouis (comics critic)
“There’s all kinds of trinkets that can level the playing field physically, and when that happens Batman prevails. When it comes down to it, Clark will always put what he perceives to be the greater good ahead of his personal interests. If you put Superman and Batman into the pivotal scene of The Wrath of Khan, it would be Clark rushing into the reactor and Bruce screaming on the other side of the glass every time.”
J.A. Micheline (comics critic)
“Batman means a lot to me and I’d love to write him one day. That being said, Superman would own Batman’s entire life in a fight. Sorry, B.”
However, out of all of the answers given, there was none better than the one given by Michael Shannon, who played General Zod in 2013’s Man of Steel.
“I’m so utterly unconcerned with the outcome of that fight. So profoundly, utterly unconcerned. I can’t even come up with a fake answer. I guess I have to root for Superman because he killed me, so I would hope that he would continue his killing spree and become like a serial killer Superman. That’s a new take on Superman. We’d all be in a heap of trouble if Superman was a serial killer. He could just wipe us all out. But then he’d be lonely.”
“Isn’t he already lonely?”
“Well, we’re all lonely.”
I proudly kneel before that answer.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is in theaters now.
[Image via Warner Bros.]