Gwen Stefani Gives More Detail On Divorce From Gavin Rossdale: ‘It Was So Raw’

Gwen Stefani has been through an emotionally-draining ordeal in her divorce from Gavin Rossdale. Everyone knows this, partly because Gwen seems to publicly dwell on it every few weeks. She can’t really be faulted for that, because the end of one’s marriage really is a life-altering event, but one would think Ms. Stefani would be more willing and certainly more able to walk away, considering that she has found new love in Blake Shelton.

Gwen Stefani Pours Out Her Soul In Talking About Divorce From Gavin Rossdale

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In August of 2015, Ms. Stefani and Mr. Rossdale announced their divorce in a public statement and it is that time period Gwen is now opening up about, referring to those events as a “horrible, crazy explosion” that forever changed her life.

“At that time everything was like I had no skin, it was so raw,” Stefani said in a CBS’ Sunday Morning interview, which aired this weekend. “Nobody knew what was happening, and I had this big secret.”

Stefani goes on to say that she felt as though she had hit rock bottom in her life and really had no one to turn to, because she felt so humiliated. Although she still hasn’t gone into much detail regarding the reasons for the split, Gwen has said that the events would tell a wild story. Sources close to the former couple have suggested that Gwen had discovered an ongoing affair between Gavin and their children’s nanny, though neither Stefani nor Rossdale has confirmed this as true.

Regardless of the exact details, Gwen says she was utterly devastated, as her marriage fell apart.

“I’m gonna die,” Stefani said of her mindset. “I am dead, actually. How do I save myself? What am I going to do? How do I not go down like this?”

Gwen Stefani Reveals How Music Saved Her Life

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Gwen knew she had to find a way to pull herself up, even as she accepted that she had hit the lowest point in her life, so she turned to the one thing that could always make her feel better: music. The only problem was that a serious bout with writer’s block was among the problems facing Stefani at that moment in her life and she wasn’t quite sure how to overcome it.

Still, it was the only way back for the former No Doubt singer and she knew it. Gwen set aside her lack of self-confidence and entered the studio with an entirely new perspective.

“I said, ‘Listen, I don’t care about the charts, the hits, the style of music. I just want to tell the truth and I just have to get this out of me, whatever it is, and I want to write and I want it to be coming from me.'”

What happened next was an outpouring of both emotion and words, as Stefani allowed her creativity to flow unchecked. She wrote more songs than she might ever use and each new piece was as honest and as deeply personal as the songs that had come before. As she wrote, Gwen says the confidence she had lost in herself was regained and everything seemed to right itself.

Little did Gwen know, but she was in for yet another serious blow. She had turned in her new album to her record producer, but the call she received revealed a less-than-enthusiastic response. In fact, they hated it. Stefani was told the album was far too artistic and personal. The record executives also said no one would relate to the lyrics.

“And it really deflated me. I was like, ‘Wow, you guys, you don’t even understand what you’re doing to me right now. This was saving my life, and now you just punched me in the face, like, for saving my own life?’ That’s how it felt.”

She persisted. Gwen went to the record label’s offices in person with the idea that she wanted to release the most personal music possible. She said she really wanted to open up to her fans and show them in heartbreaking honesty everything she had just endured.

It worked. Gwen’s first single off of her new album, “Used to Love You,” was a hit with her fans as well as with music critics. It was the brutal honesty, the very aspects that had stirred concern from her record label, that struck a chord with the public.

[Image by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images]