Being asked to be a best man at wedding is looked as the ultimate sign of friendship, but more than a quarter of men prefer not to be a best man at wedding. According to a recent survey, 27 percent of men find a best man’s duties to be “a horror” than an honor.
The results from the survey are quite understandable, as the tasks befalling a best man in a wedding are almost never-ending, a stark contrast to a bridesmaid’s relatively straight list of “to do’s.” A bridesmaid simply needs to wear a pink dress, hold flowers, and stay off the gin at least until the end of the first dance. On the other hand, what does a best man have to do?
Apart from that huge obligation to deliver a moving speech within 15 minutes on the day of wedding and later dance with the bridesmaid without making an eye contact with her husband, the best man is the one who has to ensure nobody is arrested or deported during the wedding.
It was a great day to ride a ferry and have lunch with the best man in my wedding. Brothers for life Jay Dawg! pic.twitter.com/qsEl1Xp9g7— Peter Blue (@petercblue) March 4, 2016
“The best man speech is important for several reasons,” says Oliver Lucas, founder of Iamthebestman.co.uk.
“Like it or not, it is part of the entertainment that people look forward to in the same way as they do when going to see stand-up. As best man, you are expected to make the audience laugh by regaling stories about the groom and mocking his character, which people want to hear.”
“Of course writing and delivering the material can be a huge challenge, and is a lot of pressure, particularly in an era when best man speeches are popping up on YouTube outdoing one another.”
The best man has to be an organizer, a never-ending source of hilarity and pathos, an emotional crutch — all when there are 100 camera flashes going off in his face. What a relief it would be for a best man at the end of the wedding day!
The study commissioned by Tullamore DEW suggests that the job of a best man is not the one to be cherished but the one that has to be suffered. As per the study, 22 percent of men said they would not prefer to be a best man second time around. And, a best man’s job doesn’t quite seem to be appreciated, either, as 14 percent of the grooms expressed their regret at the choice of best man in their wedding.
According to the study, a whole 35 percent of best men self-confessed to being anxious of saying the wrong thing, and 15 percent said they were afraid of losing their speech. Similarly, 10 percent felt their best man had not adequately performed his duties.
Dec 28th 1970, Elvis was The Best Man in Sonny West's Wedding in Memphis !! TCB⚡️ pic.twitter.com/l0vwkIANuE— Big Pappy TCB⚡️ (@bigpappy1956) December 28, 2015
According to UK’s wedding website, Confetti, “The worst kind of best man actually believes he IS the best man. He is convinced that he is the funniest, most attractive and interesting man in the room.”
“His speech will be a collection of disconnected accounts of laddish excess. It will be interspersed with exhausted wedding jokes about the mother-in-law and the impending disappointments of the honeymoon.”
“There will be offensive one liners: ‘when I met Danny’s fianceé I was relieved — he’s had a lot worse… believe me!’ and so on. The fundamental problem is that the ‘worst man’ simply doesn’t get it. He doesn’t understand the importance of the day and, in truth, doesn’t understand his own responsibilities.”
The key to success in performing duties as a best man is to understand your role, according to the experts.
A best man is the facilitator of wedding and, though he occupies the center stage at various points during the wedding, he should refrain from regarding himself as the center of attention. Just understand one thing: the less people are noticing you, the better job you are performing.
[Photo by Fred Ramage/Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images]