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GOP Debate: Detroit’s Worst Quotes And Low Blows

By Anya Felix
Published on: 03:27 PST, Mar 4, 2016

Coming close on Super Tuesday’s heels, Thursday’s GOP Debate was charged with the usual insults and name-calling. Fox News tried, but the Trump mentality prevailed. The Republican debate was a free-for-all of low blows, a presidential-level game of “yo’ mama.”

High in entertainment value but low in political content? That is the understatement of the century. Detroit’s GOP debate was almost wholly composed of personal insults and double entendre humor.

John Kasich — the only Republican candidate standing you don’t know from the tabloids — called for an end to all the bickering, to no avail.

“Let’s stop fighting!”

That being said, let the fighting begin!

Round One: Donald Trump defends the size of his hands?

In an elaborate hand analogy that wasn’t fooling anyone Donald Trump hit below the belt and defended the size of his penis on a platform meant to enlighten the Republican people on the GOP Candidates’ political stances.

“He referred to my hands; if they’re small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there is no problem. I guarantee.”

It’s a guarantee, guys.

Round Two: Ted Cruz channels his inner guidance counselor, instructs Trump to breathe.

The Republican candidates are nothing if not comrades in this GOP debate. Ted Cruz, tired of Donald Trump’s constant interruptions, tried to ease his anxiety.

“Donald, please, I know it’s hard not to interrupt. Breathe, breathe, breathe. You can do it, breathe, I know it’s hard, I know it’s hard.”

Round Three: Marco Rubio’s yoga quip that won the internet

This GOP debate is probably the end of the dreaded “hand” saga, but it saw the beginning of another Republican embarrassment: the Yoga analogy, a result of Marco Rubio’s quick response to the guidance session Papa Cruz was offering Trump.

“When they’re done with the yoga, can I answer a question?”

Now, there’s an ongoing spinoff of GOP yoga references about flexibility and core strength. The American people are being tortured by the image this brought up. Donald Trump in yoga pants?

And yet, Twitter got to work.

Things backfired a bit for Marco Rubio too.

There was even an investigation on Rubio’s lack of culturing.

Like a schoolyard fight, these GOP debate petty insults were entertaining and the large crowd that gathered to goad the Republican Candidates on (like middle school boys looking to impress some girls) only made it even more fun to watch.

But this is a political debate, a Republican platform to address serious issues.

Fox News’ moderators Megyn Kelly, Brett Baier, and Chris Wallace were on fire last night with their pressing questions and continued attempts to keep the GOP candidates on topic, but their attempts ultimately failed to grab as much attention as Trump’s continued reference to Rubio as “Little Marco” and Rubio’s own wisecracks.

Nonetheless, the GOP Debate did address some political issues that the Republicans candidates actually provided (relatively) coherent opinions on.

Donald Trump is starting to get serious about this presidential race. Having come on top on Super Tuesday, he’s anticipating his GOP presidential nomination and starting to move towards the center to court more moderate voters.

Yes, that’s right, there are signs that Donald Trump is going moderate.

His conciliation in the debate, a willingness to compromise, shone through when he said, “There is always give and take, there is always negotiation […] without give and take, you’ll never agree.”

This, combined with his quips about “flexibility” (a reference to the aforementioned yoga mistake), might be a sign of genuine change in Donald Trump’s position as that crazy extremist Republican candidate.

If the GOP Debate revealed anything, it is the sobering up of Donald Trump.

All GOP Debate quotes from CBS’s liveblog.

[Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images]

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