Ben Higgins Explains Why He Said ‘I Love You’ To Two Women, Former ‘Bachelor’ Stars React To His Boneheaded Move

Ben Higgins broke Bachelor rule No. 1 by telling two women he’s in love with him, and now he’ll have to face the music in two weeks in what’s sure to be the most dramatic Bachelor final ever. After Ben told both Lauren Bushnell and JoJo Fletcher that he’s in love with them on Monday’s episode, Bachelor Nation went crazy — and so did Higgins’ fellow Bachelor alums.

On his blog for People, Ben Higgins explained even he was surprised that he said those three little words to two women.

“I am in love with two women. Two very different, but equally remarkable, women. Believe me, I am just as surprised as you all are and was even more so when it was all starting to happen. I’m still not sure how it happened but it did.”

While Higgins started the season by telling his mother that he’s afraid he’s “unlovable,” he certainly threw that theory out the window during the overnight dates in Jamaica. Not only did Ben exchange “I love yous” with Lauren and JoJo, but the now ousted Caila Quinn also expressed those words him. But while he was smart enough not to reciprocate Caila’s feelings, Ben couldn’t hold back when it came to saying the “L” word to his final two women. In his blog post, Higgins revealed that he was afraid people would think his feelings weren’t real.

“I think my biggest fear with people seeing this week and hearing me express that I am in love with both JoJo and Lauren is that it will make everyone feel like it’s not real love. Or that I don’t comprehend what love is because I am feeling it for two women at once. But I really do. I gave this more thought than you can possibly imagine.”

Higgins also detailed hours of sleepless nights and soul searching as he tried to come to terms with his feelings, making it clear that it was no easy decision for him to express his deep feelings to both Lauren and JoJo. In the end, he followed his heart.

“I really searched my soul and prayed and tried to figure out how this was possible. But at the end of the day, I could not deny my feelings for each one of these women. And so here I am. With two incredible women. Both of whom I am madly in love with. And I have no idea what to do about it.”

While Higgins stands behind his decision to say those relationship-changing words to both Lauren and JoJo, several past Bachelor alums couldn’t believe Ben Higgins’ boneheaded move. Season 16 star Ben Flajnik posted that it’s not good etiquette to give two different women back-to-back “I love yous.” Season 14’s Jake Pavelka cautioned the 27-year-old Dallas salesman to slow down on the phrase. And Bachelor Season 17 star Sean Lowe questioned if Higgins even knows what love is!


But at least one former Bachelor star seemed to know where Ben Higgins was coming from. Last season’s stud, Chris Soules, posted that he can feel Ben’s pain when it comes to falling for two women at once.


Even longtime show host Chris Harrison got into the action. On his blog for Yahoo TV, Harrison wrote that Ben has a big problem as he heads back to his hometown to introduce his parents to two possible future daughters-in-law.

“Now, Ben is in a real pickle. He is going to introduce two women he loves to his parents. He is going to go on final dates with two women who know he loves them back. Houston, we have a problem. That is going to be the most dramatic season finale in history!”

Of course, with more than 30 combined season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette on the books, there are many former stars who have been in Ben Higgins’ shoes. And if you listen to Ali Fedotowsky’s take on things, neither Higgins nor his final ladies are thinking clearly. In a post on her Ali Luvs blog, Fedotowsky wrote that none of them are likely really in love. At least not yet.

“I can say that EVERY person I’ve ever talked to on the show has told me that they weren’t really in love on the show, they just thought they were in the moment. They were in lust! Heck, even the married couples from the show say that. Ask Jason and Molly [Mesnick] or Ashley and JP [Rosenbaum]. I bet they would say that they didn’t really know the person on the show, and they truly fell in love AFTER the show.”

No matter how this pans out, Ben Higgins has made Bachelor history — and possibly the biggest mistake we’ve ever seen on the long-running ABC reality show.

Take a look at the video to see a clip from Ben Higgins’ overnight dates with Lauren and JoJo.

[Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images]