4 Pointless Devices For Nissan To Invent After Their Self-Parking Chairs

Did humankind, at any point in its evolution, ever think that it’ll be needing self-parking chairs?

Japanese car company Nissan has pre-empted that question, creating the world’s first self-parking chair, according to a report in Digital Trends.

What exactly does a self-parking chair do?

It does what its name says. It parks itself.

There is a pre-designated spot — usually at a desk — that acts like a home base for the chair. One clap and the chair moves to this pre-designated spot from wherever it is currently located.

Watch the action below.

Please remember that these chairs are not for sale.

Then what’s the point of this thing? one may ask.

Nothing, really.

It has been invented solely to showcase the self-parking abilities of Nissan cars. The carmakers are hoping that people will get comfortable with the idea of semi-automated vehicles (for example, a car that helps them with parking), before plying them with fully automated, driverless cars. So this technology is a kind of warm-up before the real thing arrives on the scene. Or putting it another way, the self-parking chair is simply a trailer for a yet-to-be-released Big Technology.

Here are four still-to-be-invented, pointless technologies in the vein of self-parking chairs that Nissan can try their hands at next.

Self-zipping zippers

For many years now, humans have been wasting a lot of their precious time on Earth zipping up clothes. Just imagine the kind of time that will be freed up once the zippers are automated. You can use that time to do much more productive work. It will also save men from the embarrassment of “Your fly is open” scenarios. Rudimentary solutions for this have been floating around for some time, but there is no definitive invention in sight. Nissan can tweak their self-parking tech and use it on zippers.

Self-surfing remote control

Couch Potato_Nissan Self Parking Chairs
[Image via Shutterstock]

This one is for the couch potatoes. Imagine a remote control that surfs channels on your TV automatically. No continuous button-pressing, no holding up the device. Just place the remote on the couch beside you and let it do its thing. When you need the remote to stop, clap once. When you want it to go again, clap twice. Since Nissan has already connected the clapping action to the movement of a self-parking chair, it can do the same for an automated remote control.

Self-propelling trash can

This can work on the already-existing template of the self-parking chairs. Whatever machine Nissan has at the bottom of its chairs, it can attach the same to the bottom of trash cans. This is how it will work: A couch potato who has just finished a packet of chips and needs to urgently dispose of it will only need to clap once. The self-propelling trash can will then locate his coordinates and come rushing to him, ready to receive the packet. This will dramatically reduce the amount of garbage couch potatoes tend to accumulate around their person.

Self-writing pens

Great for people who don’t want to smash their fingers on a keyboard every day. Just clap once and it hops onto the nearest available notebook. Clap twice and it starts scribbling on the notebook. Clap thrice and it stops in its tracks. An ideal pointless invention.

What other pointless inventions can you think of for Nissan to try next? Will you buy any of these products if they ever hit the market?

[Image via YouTube]