Thank goodness for Lottie Tomlinson, who, other than asking for Louis to tilt his head to and fro so Lou Teasdale could style his quiff on tour, has not demanded much from her big brother at all.
It seems like every woman in the Tomlinson orbit has some strong opinions and would like Louis to step up and meet her demands, yesterday if possible. Most recently, Celebsnow is reporting that Louis’ sister Felicite may have taken to Instagram to question baby mama Briana Jungwirth’s good intentions.
We have our doubts about that, given that Felicite has also spoken about her great bond with the Jungwirths.
Now, though, it looks like political beliefs and business may be clashing. Feminist Felicite is urging people to boycott Sony, her brother Louis’ label!
It’s all very dramatic. In the name of clarity and rigor, here is a summary of the needs and preferences of all the females of the Tommo universe.
Felicite Tomlinson: Free Kesha and do not support Syco/Sony in any way
Felicite was shocked about the report that pop star Kesha has not been permitted to exit her contract with producer Dr. Luke, a man Kesha claims raped and assaulted her when they began working together, as reported by New York Daily News.
Yesterday Felicite’s timeline was covered with the hashtags #SonySupportsRapists and #FreeKesha.
But hang on, isn’t Sony the company where Louis is developing his label? Yes, Syco is an arm of Sony. In fact, it was Sony and Syco that took One Direction to fame in the first place, and Louis attended a Sony Grammys after-party just days ago, according to Just Jared.
There might be some awkward conversations around the Tomlinson dinner table about this one. Perhaps Felicite will even pressure Louis to pull any strings he can, in order to release the embattled Kesha — who, for what it’s worth, has not been able to build a convincing case that the assaults took place, and who has been permitted to work without having contact with her alleged rapist — from her contract.
Danielle Campbell: Get out of that baby bubble and spend time with me
Fatherhood introduced a love triangle for Louis Tomlinson, according to Woman’s Day.
“Recent reports suggest the new dad is stuck between a rock and hard place…Briana Jungwirth is jealous about Louis’ girlfriend Danielle Campbell because the proud papa wants his lady love to meet his son!
“Before you start feeling sorry for Briana, it appears the other lady in Louis’ life, girlfriend Danielle is also feeling unwanted.”
Briana is apparently not allowing Danielle to meet beautiful baby Freddie: “[Louis] and Danielle are becoming close and [Louis] would like [Danielle] to be a part of his son’s life. But Briana has said it’s too much too soon.”
What this means is that whenever Louis spends time with Freddie he has to do it without Danielle, and given that Louis is such a doting dad, happy in the “baby bubble,” we’re guessing Danielle gets left at home without her boyfriend a lot.
It also means Briana gets Louis to herself. Crafty move, Briana!
Briana Jungwirth: Marry me and we’ll raise our child together
This one has been pretty exhaustively reported on. Briana Jungwirth still holds out hope that Louis will commit to her in the end, according to Sugarscape.
“[Briana] hopes, now the baby’s here, that Louis understands she needs to be a more important figure in his life – she’ got hope [of a relationship] in the future.”
Some outlets even report that the determined blonde regards Danielle as “nonexistent,” according to Sugarscape.
“Briana doesn’t want to raise a kid with no father figure around.”
Johannah Deakin: Grace my charity events with your fit form, thanks
“[P]roving that he is very much a family man, Louis Tomlinson took to the red carpet at the Believe In Magic Charity Ball on Monday evening with his mother Johannah Deakin.
“Held at the Natural History Museum in London, the One Direction star, 23, was all smiles as he posed for pictures and readied his role as host.”
Doris Deakin: Lots of cuddles, please
Naww! This is probably our favorite. With all the legal, financial, political and intellectually-motivated bickering rumored to be sweeping the Tomlinson clan — from Felicite’s one-woman, feminist rage against Sony, to Danielle’s grapple with the subtleties of baby mama/girlfriend etiquette — it’s worth lingering on adorable Doris, who just wants a cuddle and for Louis to use his bicep power to loosen the biscuit tin. Precious!
[Photo by Jon Furniss/Invision/AP Images]