A young British man was rushed to the hospital Tuesday morning in Stevenage, Hertfordshire, after being stupid enough to try to circumcise his own dangle with a pair of nail clippers.
Regarding the so-close-yet-so-far to a Darwin Award act, Dr. Obvious told the UK Telegraph:
“This is something we would advise men never to attempt. The results can be quite horrific and long-lasting and have quite an affect on a man’s sexual performance. Using a pair of nail clippers must have caused excruciating pain, even if he had had a few drinks beforehand.”
ORLY? I neither have a penis nor attended any kind of medical training and I could tell you that much. As for why the man attempted to give his soldier a haircut in a country that does it for free, the article was sadly mum.
Okay, attempting your own circumcision is ridiculously retarded. But didn’t he at least have an x-acto knife in his arsenal of idiocy? Could anything to hand have possibly been less effective? Perhaps a nail file…