Michael Jackson: You are not the father!

In a scenario fit for the highest rated Maury ever, TMZ is reporting that Michael Jackson is not the biological father of Prince Michael I, Paris and Prince Michael II- also known as Blanket.

Rumors began to swirl after a now redacted “interview” with Debbie Rowe, Jackson’s wife-in-name-only, surfaced in UK rag News of the World. One of many provocative statements attributed to the former Mrs. Jackson was that Michael did not provide the sperm that resulted in the genesis of his three beloved children. I’ll spare you the bits where she allegedly compared herself to a horse and described inseminating one.

A second bombshell unearthed by the gossip site is that Debbie Rowe, widely speculated as possibly seeking custody of two of the Jackson children, isn’t the biological mother of the kids, either. Rowe merely acted as a surrogate, and I shall briefly don my Captain Obvious helmet to point out husbands and wives generally don’t go through such complicated theatrics to conceive a child. This information clearly plunges the custody issue into even murkier waters as a case like this has never been tried in California before.

It’s interesting, though, what precedent this case could set for future custody battles. While any number of people could lay claim to the kids- Rowe, the Jackson family, egg donors, other surrogates- the children clearly only ever had one parent, and that was Michael Jackson.

[Image: NYDN]