Strangers are sometimes people we just haven’t met yet, yet other times there’s a reason why you can’t spell “stranger” without “strange.”
People on Reddit were asked, “What is the weirdest thing that you have heard a stranger say?” And some of the answers were creepy, others were confusing, but they were all just plain weird.
The Art of Everything
A homeless dude walks up to me and tried to hand me a really old cassette.
Me: “Thanks man, but I don’t even own anything that would play that.”
Him: “THEN YOU MUST FIND YOUR OWN MAGNETIC EYES!”
Ah, if only all old technology could be played with nothing but our eyes!
“Excuse me, sir? You just dropped your steed.”
“What’s a steed?”
“You just said steed.”
“No your wallet, I said wallet.”
“Oh, thanks, I didn’t realise I had lost, thank gawwd, thanks so much. But you did say steed.”
“No I never, anyway, must be off.” Literally runs away.
That’s when I realised she was a pickpocket and she stole my money while I was wondering why she said steed.
What a strange way to distract someone while you go about your business of ripping them off.
Smoke and Spark
“I’ll give you $100 for your socks.”
The mind boggles as to what could be so valuable about someone’s socks.
I steal socks… pic.twitter.com/L8bnl4KrRi
— 10217:00 (@10217_00) February 2, 2016
I was walking past a group of people on a busy street and I overheard “… so then we put him in the dumpster…”. Needless to say I didn’t stay to hear the end of that.
That definitely sounds like the kind of conversation you don’t want to stick around to hear the end of.
Cute or Die
I was in a fabric store buying some stuff for quilting. There were two older ladies in line before me both around 80.
Lady 1: “Wow that’s a cute pattern!”
Lady 2: “I despise the word cute.”
Lady 1: “You’re right it’s ugly.”
Lady 2: “I can’t decide if I want to kill people that say the word cute, or kill myself because I hear it so often.”
Lady 1: “You should probably kill yourself so people don’t have to listen to you.”
Imagine what it would be like to be the grandchildren of one of these ladies. Somehow, it sounds like it could even be a bit of fun.
“I can’t decide if I want to kill people that say the word cute, or kill myself because I hear it so often.”
While I was taking a nice walk through the neighborhood I passed an old lady in a motorized scooter who was looking at me mumbling something. I said hi as we passed and she turned the cart around and started screaming “LEAVE ME ALONE!”
I said, “sorry I was just saying hi!” And she started screaming “HELP! HARASSMENT! CALL THE POLICE!”
I was completely confused and kept walking unnerved.
Someone’s a little on edge today!
“Which way is the foot fetish exhibit?”
At the American Museum of Natural History in New York City, in a line waiting for admission. I will note, the current exhibit was about dinosaurs.
Next, all the kids behind this person turned towards their parents and asked “Mommy, what’s a foot fetish?”
Good luck explaining that one to the kids.
— Tender Lee (@TenderLeeProd) February 2, 2016
“You know how to wear a pair of jeans well.”- not a huge deal except a woman told me this when her husband got up to use the bathroom.
Probably a good idea to get out of there before the husband gets back from the bathroom.
Jesus Walking the Dog
A couple of weeks ago I was out and walking back to a hotel after eating with some friends. As I’m walking this old guy in a top hat holding what looks like an invisible dog leash is talking to some woman. I couldn’t hear everything he was saying but what I did hear him say was that his hypnotist told him he was the son of God. Never heard that one before.
Lots of people believe they are the son of God, but that doesn’t explain the top hat and the invisible dog leash.
Homeless man standing next to me at bus stop: “Hey, is this your bag?” Holding his own bag.
Me: “No, that’s your bag.”
Him: “Well what’s in it?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Him: “Nothing… That’s the secret. Don’t tell my girlfriend.” Then he spat on his hand and walked away.
It’s pretty safe to say the girlfriend will not be told.
The Creepy Prophet
A stranger once talked to me at the bus stop. She knew my name and where I had moved from, for some reason. She told me she was there to tell me I had strayed from my path and it was time to get back on it. Then she left.
That was weird. I have no idea who she was and I never saw her again.
Normally a comment like this could be easily dismissed, but the fact that the stranger knew the person’s name and where they’d moved from turns this randomness into something a little more creepy.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard a strange essay? Let us know in the comments below.