When a web surfer sees an article title like “My Wife Divorced Me Because I Left The Dishes By The Sink,” with more than 76,000 shares on Your Tango and more than 89,000 Facebook likes on Huffington Post, one sits up and takes notice. On HuffPo, the article “She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink,” also written by Matthew Fray, has drawn plenty of eyeballs from folks wondering why a wife would be so petty as to leave her husband for such a minor offense.
And that’s exactly what the blogger explains within the viral article. Matt spells out why the silly notion of leaving a glass by the sink instead of taking four seconds to place the dirty glass in the dishwasher led to his divorce. It’s because Fray’s ex-wife explained to him how upset such thoughtlessness on Matt’s part made her feel — and Fray eloquently wrote the piece post-divorce, from a much deeper perspective that shows Matt understands that the death of his marriage was about a whole lot more than a dirty dish.
“I always reasoned: ‘If you just tell me what you want me to do, I’ll gladly do it.’
“But she didn’t want to be my mother; she wanted to be my partner, and she wanted me to apply all of my intelligence and learning capabilities to the logistics of managing our lives and household. She wanted me to figure out all the things that needed to be done, and devise my own method of task management.
“I wish I could remember what seemed so unreasonable to me about that at the time.”
As expected, the “divorce due to dirty dishes by the sink” piece is getting tons of buzz on social media, with varying opinions on either side of the subject.
The glass left out on the side of the sink time and time again spoke to Fray’s ex-wife, telling her that her needs and desires didn’t matter. That’s what Matt realized and explained in such a fashion that wives aplenty are likely the ones sharing the viral article online. While Fray initially saw it from his husband perspective, thinking that a little glass left out next to the sink was no big deal compared to all the hard work he might have put in day to day as a hard-working man, Matt eventually began to see his ex-wife’s complaints as something deeper. It wasn’t just an emotional tirade, Fray wrote, but it was his ex-wife trying to communicate to him that if he was the kind of guy who didn’t understand — nor care — that such a small task meant so much more to his ex-wife about feeling heard, made safe, loved and respected, perhaps they didn’t need to be married.
Maybe it meant she needed to move on to a marriage with a husband who understood putting away a glass was more about proving it was a partnership with each person’s feelings validated. Instead, Matt wrote that he saw it as a way to try and convince his ex-wife to feel the way he felt.
“Unfortunately, most guys don’t know that she’s NOT fighting about the glass; she’s fighting for acknowledgment, respect, validation, and his love.
“If he KNEW that — if he fully understood this secret she’s never explained to him in a way that doesn’t make her sound crazy (causing him to dismiss it as an inconsequential passing moment of emo-ness), and that this drinking glass situation and all similar arguments will eventually end his marriage — he WOULD rethink which battles he chose to fight, and would be more apt to take action doing things he understands to make his wife feel loved and safe.”
Huffington Post She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink Huffington Post Matthew Fray Writer, single dad,… https://t.co/LXu1nNYcDA— Yvette (@YvetteIDK) January 29, 2016
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