Israeli Scientists Develop New Pot That Doesn’t Get You High, Achieve Buzzkill Level 99

Just to get it out of the way, pot without the high is somewhat like Christmas without presents, milkshakes without ice cream or an episode of Hardcore Pawn without someone breaking down in tears because they found out their babydaddy gave them a gold necklace made from curtain tiebacks.

Which is to say, a high from marijuana is what 99.999% of people smoking it right now are tuning in for (dude!), even if they do really need it for other purposes, like glaucoma, nausea, insomnia, anxiety or its most common use, ameliorating being bored as shit and creating more favorable conditions to attack a tray of brownies.

The benign, silly and some would say beneficial high obtained from smoking pot is a major stepping stone to getting it made legal for the people who truly need it, as drug policy enforcers are worried that the cancer patient who can’t eat without puffing the magic dragon might be deriving some secondary enjoyment out of the process of smoking dope, so scientists in Israel actually managed to find a way to make marijuana that doesn’t get you high.

I will pause for a minute to let you all comprehend the nightmare scenario in which this strain of highless dope gets out into the wild, overcoming native species and becoming the dominant or sole existing crop.

But, the scientists did have a good reason to make a pot that doesn’t get you high, even if you, me or any other sane person can’t possibly comprehend one. It seems some people not only dislike being high, but also need to function without wondering if their hands are really big and they just never noticed before.

Zack Klein is head of development at Tikun Olam, the company that created highless pot, and he told the Telegraph:

“Sometimes the high is not always what they need. Sometimes it is an unwanted side effect. For some of the people it’s not even pleasant.”

Do you think medical marijuana should be legalized, with or without the high?