As we head towards Christmas, the ladies of Orange Is The New Black star in a video, reciting their very own version of the classic Christmas poem, “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” Turns out that, in true naughty (but nice) girl style, they mugged Santa Claus when he visited Litchfield Prison.
Watch the fun in the video titled “Twas A Night In Litchfield,” included below:
In “Twas a Night In Litchfield,” the girls keep to the story of the poem in a way, as their epic recital starts with all the ladies tucked up in their bunks. They suddenly hear “such a damn clatter” as Santa Claus and his reindeer arrive with their gifts.
Poussey starts off by saying in true Orange Is The New Black style, “Twas a night in Litchfield, and all through the prison,” followed by Flaca Gonzales saying “Not a creature was stirring,” with Red (of course) concluding the line with “not even a chicken.”
The ladies then tell us the cell phones are all stashed in the walls with Red hoping the contraband wouldn’t be found and the girls were all in their bunks, with Crazy Eyes and Dayanara pointing out, “Some were getting some action… hey, we ain’t monks.”
After the Orange Is The New Black stars quietly investigate what all the clatter is about, Sophia asks, “Was sh*t going down? Would this be my first riot?”
Referring to finding a “chalky old white dude” who looked all confused, Pennsatucky thinks it might be Jesus, but the ladies decide it is good old St Nick and that they were not actually tripping or drunk on hooch.
— Zap2it (@Zap2it) December 24, 2015
As they spot eight “cute a***d reindeer” out in the yard, they confirm their suspicions that Santa has indeed arrived on the scene. The naughty but nice Orange Is The New Black inmates then proceed to mug Santa. The poem continues, “St Nick looked alarmed as we all eyed his swag, who sent you here? Man, what you got in that bag?”
“The rest was a blur, it all happened so quick… but we MAY have robbed and roughed up St Nick.”
In rotation, the girls then list the gifts they found in Santa’s bag, including books for the library, grass for the yard, eyeliner, tampons and porn (for the guards?).
Red is thrilled to receive “real food for the kitchen” and the ladies are excited to get Lysol for the loo, along with a brand new vibrating screwdriver for Boo.
However, the poor inmates end up all getting shots from Caputo when he finds out what they have been up to.
— Rolling Stone (@RollingStone) December 24, 2015
Meanwhile fans of the Netflix original series will be thrilled to know that the show is returning for a fourth season at some time in 2016. While no official date has yet been given, some say it is like to return during the summer. However, according to Vanity Fair, the popular ladies of Litchfield will be back and available for viewing at some time in June.
As reported by iDigital Times, towards the end of Season 3 of Orange Is the New Black, the prison seemed to be downsizing but taking in loads of new inmates, double bunking the ladies in an uncomfortable way as they try to run a leaner and meaner opera0tion.
We will, at least, get to see the continuing story of the various personality clashes among the ladies of Litchfield Prison and find out how things turn out. Until then, they all wish us a Merry Christmas.
[Image via Netflix]